An Adventure Or Hell?
by angelcarstairs4679
Summary: "I only want to kill them all. I want to free humanity and bring them to the outside world," Izzy told the instructor. This takes place a few years before the fall of Shiganshina.
1. Leaving home

**What's up? Its the** **weekend so here is a new story. I can't get over season 2 so I decided to write this story. Characters from the series may appear in the story but for now, this story will include a bunch of new characters. It takes place a few years before the Fall of Wall Maria so we might be able to see a bit of Eren and the others. If all goes well, I'll update once or maybe twice a week, if I have the time. I don't own the world of AOT. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

I sat at the window, twirling the knife in my hand. I watched the birds fly past as I gazed outside. My home was at an elevated area in Shiganshina so I can see beyond the walls. Everyday I yearned to go outside and see the world, not be confined to the prison of the walls. But to go outside will be suicide. Titans roam the lands beyond the walls and only members of the Survey Corps were brave enough to actually go to the outside world. That and they always come back beaten bloody, their faces bent low and the world against them even though they came back with only half their comrades alive.

I threw the knife into the door just as it opened. It stuck into the wood of the frame and my mother scowled at me. "Isabelle Lightbane, can you refrain from damaging the house any further," she said as she plucked the knife from the door and tossed it to me. The door was riddled with marks from where my knife had hit it countless times.

"Say, mum. Isn't it almost time for people to sign up for the Training Corps?" I asked and she whirled around. She strode over and smacked me across the face, as usual whenever I bring up the topic. "Don't you dare to think about joining that infernal Corps!" she shouted as I rubbed my face. "I'm fourteen now! I can join it! I should have joined years ago!" I shouted and she snapped back. "The Survey Corps was what took your father away from us!" she shouted, tears forming in her eyes and I clenched my fists.

My father had been part of the Survey Corps years before and was a veteran. One day, they went out on an expedition, which didn't even lasted a day and when they came back, the only thing they could retrieve of him was his head. When the commander had placed the head into my mother's arms, she had wailed and screamed, cursing them for murdering her husband. "My children have no father now! How could you go beyond those walls when the only thing you gain is more corpses?!" she had screamed as the Survey Corps walked past her. They were too exhausted and worn from the expedition to bother with one insane woman.

My mother had then barred any of us from trying to join the corps. Not like my younger brother Jon wanted to join it. "My child. You should just go and get married and have a family. Live a normal life," she said as I slapped her hand away. "How can we live a normal life when we're already caged up like animals?! We're confined within this damn walls where we don't even know come from and you expect me to sit here and live a peaceful life when countless of others are dying everyday?! Hell no!" I shouted as I stomped out of the room, my mother calling my name.

As I ran out of the house, I heard the sound of small footsteps coming after me. "Izzy! Wait!" my brother yelled as he ran to keep up with me. He was already starting to tire due to his condition of having weak lungs and I slowed down, my heart pained to see my younger brother like this. "Hey, Jon. Its nothing," I said while he scowled. "Heck like that was nothing. You got into a fight with mum again didn't you?" he said and I clenched my fist. "She thinks I should just sit down and be a woman and clean the house while others are dying out there?! You have seen how the outside world looks like Jon! Don't you want to know more about it?" I asked.

"I don't really care really. I'm fine with the way things are," he said and I groaned. He had always seemed to be the carefree type, not wanting to do more than needed. He just followed what my mum tells us to do while I'm the other way around. Its hard to tell we are even siblings sometimes due to our extreme personalities. Technically he was not even a year younger than me but he can be wise when he has to be.

"Come on. Let's go back," he said, tugging my arm. His big eyes stared at me, the eyes that once belonged to my father. Sighing, I took his hands and walked back to the house, where we ate a very silent lunch. Mum didn't even speak to me once, still fuming over the whole Training Corps episode. After that, I spent the rest of the day lying on my bed, looking outside. How I wished I could just get out there and slay some titans? Who knows? Maybe I could kill the bastard that ate my father…

That night, when I was sure everyone was asleep, the quickly grabbed my bag and opened the windows, the cold night air hitting my face. I took in the cold air, sighing as it filled my body with energy. "You're really leaving, aren't you?" a voice said and I whirled around to see my little brother at the doorway, a pack behind him. "What are you doing?" I asked and he snorted. "What else? I'm coming with you!" he said as he tugged at his pack. "But with your condition, you might not be able to make it through training!" I started to say but he held up a hand.

"Dad made me promise to take care of you when he is gone. You were always the reckless idiot in the family anyway," he said, a small smile forming on his face. He clutched his chest, twisting the fabric of his shirt. "I may be a hindrance to you in your journey to become part of the military, but I won't stop until I am able to fight side by side with you. Even if it costs me my life, I will follow you till the end," he said. I got down from the window and held him tight, stroking his soft hair.

"You were always a stubborn one, eh?" I said as I ruffled his hair. "Come on. We better make it to the boats in time," I said as I helped him onto the window. As kids we had spent our days leaping from rooftops so that skill came in handy as we made our way to the docks. A tired old military man was there, a piece of paper in his hand. "What you kids doing out here so late?" he muttered, his breath stinking of alcohol.

"We're going to join the Training Corps," I said and he snorted. "You kids think its all cool to go gear up and slay the Titans. But mind you. It ain't a pretty picture," he said as he let us on board. "Think twice before you join the Corps, girl. You may not even live to see yourself grow up," he said. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes," I said and he bowed his head. "Then I bid you two the best of luck," he said as the boat ramp was lifted. He gave us a little wave before turning back to face the walls, his mouth opened wide in a yawn.

"Well, that was one old creep," I said as we settled down. We would reach the camp in the morning and from there, we would be transformed into soldiers that defend mankind from Titans. I grinned to myself as I thought of myself killing Titans, their heads rolling on the ground, their blood staining the earth. "What are you so happy about?" Jon groaned as he turned to face me, leaning his head on my shoulder. "Nothing, kid. Goodnight," I said and he smiled, his eyes closing and soon he was snoring soundly. As I gazed up at the stars, I clutched the insignia I had been given when my father was killed. I lifted up the old fabric, the Wings of Liberty stitched on in their full glory. "One day, father. I'll avenge you," I whispered as I lulled to sleep.

…..

Mrs Lightbane woke up when the sun was just peaking from the walls. As she yawned and stretched, something at the back of her mind seemed to bother her. She slowly got up and walked towards her daughter's room, her footsteps creaking on the old wooden floor. As she opened it, the cold wind from outside hit her face like a slap, the curtains flying in the breeze. As she tried to process what was going on, she caught sight of a piece of paper jammed into the door with a knife. As she unpinned it and brought it under the light, her eyes shined with tears.

 _Hi mum,_

 _I guess by the time you find this, me and Jon will already be at the Training Corps camp in Wall Rose. I'm sorry to steal Jon away with me like a thief in the night but it was his own choice to come with me. I know I have been a very inconsiderate daughter, always messing things up and complaining about going to the outside world. But this is my calling. I want to join the Survey Corps and see the outside world like Dad once did. Even if it costs me my life, I will find a way to allow humanity to once more be free from the clutches of the Titans. I promise you, I will protect Jon with my life and one day we will come home and see you. Thank you for raising us all these years since Dad died. I love you._

 _Love from your daughter,_

 _Isabelle Lightbane_

As she drank in those words, the tears started to flow freely from her eyes as she clutched the paper against her chest. As she sobbed, the sun rose ever higher, flooding the city with an orange glow. A new dawn had come. As she watched the sun bathe her in its orange rays, she smiled to herself. "Robert, your children are just like you. More than you ever thought they were," she whispered as she let the tears flow.

…..

"Attention! You are now soldiers who are training to kill Titans! I expect all of you to fulfill your duty and sacrifice your life in defending humanity!" the instructor shouted as he faced the recruits, who all looked at him. I stood with my arms clasped behind my back, the insignia of the Training Corps, which consisted of a shield with two swords crossing blazing on my back and arms. "You there! Why did you join the Training Corps?!" the instructor shouted and a girl shrieked, her entire body shaking. "I want to kill the Titans!" she shouted, her voice trembling. "Oho. Do you? But what happens if they kill you first? They're not going to just sit down obediently and let you kill them," he snarled as tears started to flow from her eyes.

"You! Why did you come here?!" he shouted in Jon's face, spit flying all around. "I want to defend humanity!" he shouted, his face set. "Good. Be ready to sacrifice your life when the time comes!" the instructor roared and Jon shouted, "Yes sir!" The instructors' eyes darted to me, his beady eyes boring into mine. "You," he whispered as he walked towards me, his face barely inches from mine. "What brings you here?" he whispered, his hot breath hitting me, making me want to puke.

"I want to kill the Titans and let humanity go beyond the walls. I want to kill them all," I said and his face twitched. "You ready to give up your humanity for it? Many have said it but failed to do so," he hissed but I stood my ground. I lifted my right arm and slammed my fist onto my heart, the salute used by all members of the military. "I swear. I will kill the Titans until my very last breath," I shouted and he snorted. "We'll see about that," he said and he walked away, starting to shout at another recruit.

 _"Here is the salute we use!" my dad said as he slammed his fist onto his chest. "Wow! So cool!" I squealed as Jon ran around with Dad's cloak fastened on his back. "Jon! Give that back! It's dirty!" my mother shouted as we laughed "Can I do it to?" I asked and he patted my head. "Only members of the Corp are allowed to do this. But who knows? You just might make a good soldier one day," he grinned as I smiled. I stood in attention and slammed my fist on my chest, puffing my chest out. "I pledge my loyalty to humanity!" I shouted and he laughed. "That's my little girl," he said as he picked me up, hoisting me on his shoulders._

"What are you smiling about?" Jon asked as he looked at me. I glanced at him, the smile not leaving my face. "I'll kill them all," I whispered as the recruits continued to fire their answers at the instructor, their shouts filling the air. Finally, I am here. I can finally kill all I want.

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	2. A Special Mission

**Hi guys. Thanks to those who have liked this story so far. It really gives me the motivation to write more. So in this chapter (a little spoiler) Levi will be appearing and I gave him the rank Lance Corporal since I'm not too sure of what his rank was before that. I don't own most of the characters. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

 **One year later…**

The trees were still, their branches slowly waving in the wind. Birds chirped in the air just as the sound of wires connecting to bark filled the air. Several people zoomed past on their 3D maneuver gear, carrying them several feet in the air. "Dead ahead!" Radu yelled and I surged forward, bringing up my blades and slamming it into the target's neck. I cut the nape, the spongy like material falling to the ground as I regroup with my team.

"Nice one, Izzy," Radu grinned as he zoomed next to me. "Don't get all sweet and all. We're still having practice," Mona said as she fly next to me. "Here we go!" I yelled as all three of us sped ahead and removed the napes of our targets as one, the sound of blades filling the air. The sound of the other teams hitting targets came from all around and I high-fived Mona.

"Great job as always," Mona grinned as we removed our gear. "Man, that was fun!" I said as I stretched my arms. We were to have hands-on combat training an hour after lunch and I was starving so bad. "Don't get cocky you two. We still have a few years of training," Radu said as we lightly smacked him on the arm. "Where's your kid brother?" Radu asked as we walked to the dining hall. I pointed to the people manning the food station, where Jon was clad in an apron and ladling out soup.

"On food duty again kiddo?" Radu smirked as Jon handed him food. "Shove off," he snarled but at the same time both of them bumped fists. I was glad that we managed to find a few friends in the Training Corps. Radu came from a village in the mountains while Mona came from Trost District. We went over to our usual table and sat down. I tore at my bread as Jon came over, removing his apron from around his body.

"How you doing Jon?" Mona asked as Jon gulped some water. "I'm fine. Just need a bit of rest," he said. Very few people knew about Jon's heart condition and those who knew had been sworn to secrecy by both of us. Some of the superiors didn't even know about the problem or they would have kicked him out of training ages ago. He managed to get a small job in handing out food so it didn't really cause much stress to the heart as if he were to train all day long.

"We have a simulation expedition not long from now," Radu said as he rolled out a map. He pointed at a mountain area that lined Wall Sina. "There are supposedly some Titans over there so they're hoping to be able to help us get some practice," he said. "Man, can't wait to slay them," Mona grinned. "Don't get so cocky, kid. You never know when they hit you until you're dead," a voice said as we looked up. Lance Corporal Levi was standing next to us, his face dead-panned as always.

We quickly stood up in attention and saluted him. "Lance Corporal Levi! Welcome to the Training Corps!" I said and he snorted. "You're not qualified to do that until you have completed your training," he said as we stood. "I have come to collect you brats for some training. Pack your gear. We're leaving in an hour," he said as he turned his heel. "Wait, Lance Corporal! Our training wasn't even supposed to be until Wednesday!" Radu started to say when the Corporal turned to look at him, making him gulp. "Don't you understand your orders?" he hissed and Radu quickly shouted an apology.

"Man, Lance Corporal Levi is one scary person, for a shorty," I muttered as we packed our bags. "Be glad he didn't hear you or you would be fodder for his blades by now," Mona said as she stuffed a shirt into her bag. "I heard he lost two of his friends on his very first expedition. Since then, he seemed to have lost his ability to feel anything," she said as we headed out. The guys were already waiting for us at the stables, the Lance Corporal already on his horse.

"You guys need to pick up the pace if you want to survive. Let's go!" he commanded as he dug his heels into the horse's side, causing it to whinny and gallop away. We quickly mounted our horses and followed him, riding for several hours until the forest finally loomed ahead of us. The trees were tall and spooky, shielding us from any light that might exist. "Lance Corporal! Just what are we doing here?" Mona yelled as there was a boom in the distance.

"There is a group of illegal smugglers hiding out in this forest. You are to hunt them down and take them alive," he said. "You called us out here to catch a bunch of thieves?!" I demanded as he turned his head. I gulped as his black eyes stared at me. "Unless you follow orders, you don't stand a chance surviving in the world. You want to join the Survey Corps I heard, girl," he said and I nodded. "Lightbane eh? That guy was a stubborn headed one. If only he had listened to the Commander, he may still have his head attached to his body," the Lance Corporal muttered as I rode next to him.

"What did you say?!" I screamed as I threatened to pull out my blade. "Izzy! Stand down!" Mona shouted as they circled us. Jon glanced at me, his eyes pleading me to stop. "Look at you. A brat who can't control their temper cannot survive long in the Survey Corps. You think it's that easy to bring down a Titan? I've seen people die in so many ways before my eyes. You think you can stomach it?" he sneered as I gritted my teeth. "Don't you dare to talk about my father like that," I hissed as I released my grip on the blade.

"That's a good girl," Levi said as he kicked his horse, taking him further ahead. "That ass," I snarled as Jon put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on. Unless you want to get kicked out for not following orders, you better control your temper," he said as I gripped the reins tightly. We continue to ride for a while until Radu let out a shout. "Tracks from a carriage!" he shouted and we pulled up at the spot. True enough a set of carriage markings lead straight into the forest, where the road wasn't built.

"Come on. We're moving by 3D maneuver gear. Tie up the horses and get in the air in five," Lance Corporal said and we complied, quickly dismounting the horses and flying into the air. "Before we begin this exercise, you are reminded to get those criminals alive," Lance Corporal Levi said and we nodded as we spotted out target in front of us. "There!" I shouted as I directed my aim to the carriage. I stuck a hook into the carriage and went down, drawing a blade to the driver's throat. "Unless you want to die, stop the carriage," I whispered and he quickly stopped the horses.

When the carriage came to a stop, we quickly lifted the tarp covering the cart to find crates containing 3D maneuver gear, the insignia of the Military Police Brigade stamped at the side . "What the heck," I muttered as Lance Corporal Levi examined them. "Those dirty scums. They never cease to do this shit do they?" he hissed as he opened the crate. The top came loose with ease, too easily to reveal an empty crate. "Where did the gear go?" Mona started to say as the sound of gas being released filled the air.

"Scatter!" Lance Corporal Levi shouted and we leaped off the cart just in time to avoid getting smashed to bits. The driver was thrown off and he slammed into a tree, his body unmoving. "Well, what do we have here?" a sneer came from nearby and a woman dropped down from the sky, her two partners in crime following suit. They grinned as they watched us, their fingers on the triggers of their blades. "You dirty…" Mona started to say when Lance Corporal Levi raised a hand.

"We just came to get the maneuver gear," he said and the woman snorted. "Wouldn't that be stealing? We paid for it after all. It fetches a good price in the black market. You know that well enough, Levi Ackerman," she sneered. "Tsk. Let's get this over with," he said as he leaped through the trees, slamming into them. One of the men yelled as he was slammed into the ground, his arms pinned by the Lance Corporal.

"Let's get out of here!" the woman yelled as she fly into the air, her partner following suit. We shot after them, swinging from the trees at high speed. "Damn it, we can't last long since we don't have any gas refills," Radu groaned as the chase dragged on. "How can we stop them if we can't hurt them?" Mona said as I shot forward. I flew towards the man, my blades at ready. "Izzy! Don't!" Jon shouted as the blades connected with the man's arm. He howled in pain as he lost his grip, falling to the ground with a thud.

"What the…" the woman snarled as she turned to face me. Her hands were on the triggers for the blades and she yanked them out, the metal flashing at me. "You want a fight?! Come get it!" she shouted as she flew at me. I charged, slamming my blades against hers. She grunted as she pulled back, noticing the blades had cracked. "You brats have no idea how much these things are worth. It can feed us for ages!" she shouted as she tried to escape. "Those are government issued equipment! Paid or not paid, it's still illegal to be in possession of them!" I shouted and she smiled.

"You think the military is made up of good guys or goody two shoes like yourselves?" she smirked, a small laugh escaping from her lips. "You have a lot to learn about the world, little girl! The world is not as rosy as you think it is!" she said, her expression like that of an animal. "Damn you," I snarled as I slammed into her, causing her to cry out in surprise. "You think the world is hell? Let me send you to the real one," I said as I lifted my blades.

There was clanging against metal as Lance Corporal Levi appeared between us, his face stern. "Stand down, recruit," he snarled and I tsked, putting back my blades. The woman seemed to breath a sigh of relief as we touched the ground. We made our way back to where the carriage had first exploded. The man who's arm I had sliced off was moaning, clutching where his arm had been. Their leader was handcuffed and thrown to the ground. "There will always be people like us out there! You can't stop it!" she hissed as Lance Corporal Levi stomped a foot on her face. "I'll be the judge to that," he said as he removed his foot, causing her to spit out blood and a few teeth.

"Recruit Lightbane!" he said and I stood at attention. "What did you think you were doing?" he snapped. "I tried to subdue the criminal," I replied. "Didn't I give you specific orders not to kill them?" he whispered and I gulped. "These kind of scum shouldn't be around. They disgrace the name of the military," I said. "There will always be people like this. Killing off a few rats won't cull them all," he said as the others checked the prisoners. The whinnying of horses came from nearby and a few senior members of the Survey Corps came soaring from the air, dropping on the ground.

"Lance Corporal Levi!" one of them said, saluting him. "At ease. Collect them and bring them in for questioning. Not like its going to be any useful," he said and the soldiers dragged them away. Lance Corporal came next to me, his mouth so close to my ear I shuddered. "Learn to control your temper if you want to live," he said as he started to walk towards the horses. The whole journey back was pretty silent, all of us just focusing on getting back to camp. When we finally arrived, it was dark out, the stars shining above us.

"Lance Corporal Levi! What brings you here?" Sam Walter, one of the people in charge said, holding out a hand for him to shake. "You know I hate dirt. And your hands are filthy," he snarled and the man quickly retracted the hand, chuckling nervously. "How did the recruits do?" Sam asked and he shrugged. "Not too bad for a bunch of kids, I guess," he started to say as Jon let loose a wheezing sound before collapsing on the ground. "Jon!" I shouted as I scooped him in my arms. "Get a medic! Quick!" Sam shouted.

"What's going on here?" Lance Corporal Levi demanded as he watched my younger brother twitch. He gasped for breath as his chest rose and fell quickly. "Don't worry. It's just an attack," I said as Sam started to yell. " _Just_ an attack?! Look at him!" he should as Jon turned to face me. "You have it?" he wheezed and I quickly handed the medication to him, letting him take in the medication. His breathing eased a little as he slipped into unconsciousness. "You have something you want to tell me, recruit?" Sam asked as he eyed my brother and me. Slowly I laid my brother on the ground and faced my senior. "Yes. I do," I replied.

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	3. Confession

"You brought your brother with a heart condition here to fight against Titans? Are you trying to kill him?!" Sam yelled at me. "He wanted to come," I started to say as he slammed a fist on the table. "That is not an excuse! We can't have a soldier dying just because of some health issue!" he snapped as he tried to cool down. "Why didn't your medical reports say anything? Oh, I shouldn't have asked. You faked them, didn't you?" he demanded and I nodded. "He was worse when we were younger but now he's better," I said.

Sam sat down at the table, his hands clasped in front of him. He took in a deep breath and looked at Lance Corporal Levi, who was lounging on the couch, a cup of tea in hand. "Do you have anything to say about it?" Sam asked him and he shrugged. "The boy willingly joined the Training Corps. Not many people have the guts to do that, I have to admire him for that," he said and Sam sighed, leaning in his chair.

"You should go take a look at him," he told me and I nodded, walking out of the office. I walked down the path leading to the infirmary, the building emitting low light from the distance. Inside, there was just one patient in the bed at the end of the hall. Jon lay on the bed, his eyes open and gazing at the ceiling. "Jon, you alright?" I whispered as I held his hand. "Yeah. Doc says I need to take it easy," he said as he coughed. Some blood splattered on his shirt and I grabbed a cloth, wiping his mouth and handing him a cup of water.

"Damn, I'm going to be kicked out of the Training Corps?" he muttered as I squeezed his hand. "It's not your fault. If anyone should be punished, it should be me," I said. "That's ridiculous! You're one of the best recruits they have! They can't just kick you out for something like this!" he said. "This something could have cost you your life!" I shouted as I put my head in my hands. "If you were to die, I would never forgive myself," I whispered as he patted my head.

"You were always the crybaby, weren't you?" he smiled as I looked at him, my eyes swimming with tears. "Shut up, you moron," I muttered, wiping them away as the doors of the infirmary opened. Lance Corporal Levi and Sam walked in and stood next to us. I quickly got up and saluted them. "At ease," Lance Corporal Levi said and I put my arms down. "You feeling better, recruit?" Sam asked Jon, who nodded.

"If you want, we can transfer you to another military division. Something that doesn't require much movement," Sam started to say but my brother spoke up. "No. I've gotten this far. I'm not going to stop because of this little incident," he said. "The kids' got spirit," Lance Corporal Levi muttered. "I heard your strategizing skills are top-notched. We could use a guy like you in the Survey Corps. Train hard and we'll have a place ready for you," he said and Jon beamed, placing a fist over his heart. "Yes, Lance Corporal Levi!" he said as the Lance Corporal stood up.

"I have a meeting with the instructors," he said and Sam considered patting him on the back before getting a threatening glance at him, causing him to glue his hand at the side. "Well you two. You better get some rest. There is still training tomorrow," Sam said as he got up to leave. "I'm staying with him," I said and he nodded, leaving us in peace. When he closed the door, Jon shuffled to the side, leaving some room.

"Come on," he said and I slid into the bed with him, snuggling up the way we used to when we were kids. Whenever he had his attacks, he feared he would suffocate. I would sleep next to him until the next day, listening as his labored breaths even out. "Love you sis," he whispered as I pecked a kiss on his forehead. "Nights," I said and we fell asleep, holding onto each other for dear life.

….

"Come on recruits. Last mile!" Captain Miles shouted at us, the heavy rain drowning the sound of his voice. Our feet slapped into the mud, dirtying our clothes and soaking us to the bone. I huffed as I clutched onto the heavy gear pack I was carrying and wiped the rain from my eyes. "Lightbane! Get over here!" the captain shouted and I turned to see Jon lagging behind the group, his face contorted with pain and tiredness.

I turned my heel and ran towards him, jogging next to him. "Leave me, dummy. You're going to get left behind," he said. "Not a chance," I said as I held his hand squeezing it lightly. That seemed to give him more energy and he heaved his pack, running slightly faster. The rain continued its downpour, threatening to drown us in its wake. When we finally reached the pit stop, we lay on the ground, grateful to be out of the cold and wet.

"Man, that was crazy," Alex said as he removed his mud stained cloak. "Don't take it out here, dummy! You're dripping mud all over!" Hannah snapped as he laughed. "Sorry, too tired to think," he said as he dumped the cloak in a corner. I glanced around at my comrades, all soaked and tired, but alive. There was a cough from nearby and I saw Jon on his knees, hands on his mouth. "Jon!" I shouted as I knelt next to him, passing him his medication. He gulped them down, one hand clutched on his chest, his breathing slowly becoming more even.

"Thanks," he muttered as the others surrounded us. "Great job there!" Radu smirked, clapping a hand on Jon's back. "Easy now. The guy's tired," Hannah said as she shooed them away, trying to give us some space. "It will be three months until we graduate. Where are you planning to go then?" Alex asked and Hannah snorted. "Where else do you think we should go? If we get the top spots, we get to go to the Military Police Brigade. There we can stay within the walls and live a life of peace," she said as I stood up.

"So you only came here to get yourself fattened up and kept away from Titans?" I said and she rounded on me. "It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Be the best and get the best reward of all: staying alive!" she snapped as I slammed her into the wall. The others shouted as they tried to separate us but they were too tired to pull us apart. "Oi, Izzy," Radu started to say when I spoke up. "I only joined the Training Corps for one purpose and that is to liberate mankind from the Titans. For someone to come here and get sanctuary from Titans when others are dying, you make me sick," I spat as I released her.

She coughed as she slumped to the ground, her hands on her throat. "You're a fool, Izzy. The Titans will come and slaughter us if we dare step out of those walls!" she said. "We'll see about that," I replied as I helped Jon up and we walked to another part of the building. "Can you please stop fighting with the others?" he asked. "I just hate this kind of people," I said and he laughed. "Getting mad all the time is bad for your health," he said and I poked his side. "Shut up, kid," I said as we walked down the hall.

…

"Congratulations recruits! You are now officially members of the military! Offer your lives and salute!" Instructor Raymond Dawn shouted and all the recruits shouted in unison, placing a fist over their heart. "All of you have three options. The first is to join the Military Police Brigade, which maintains order in the cities and is only available to those who have achieved the top 10 spots! The second is the Garrison Force, which specializes in the fortification of the walls and the protection of cities. The last is the Survey Corps, which ventures outside the walls in search for new lands in Titan territory! You have three days to decide! Until then, all of you will be working with members of the Garrison Force in fortifying the walls. Dismissed!" he roared and everyone shouted in unison.

As I stood in the row of the top ten, I grinned as I glanced at the ones who made it to the top. Jon stood a few placed away from me, smiling away. Radu and Mona stood at the end, grateful they had even made it. When I turned to the back, I saw Hannah eyes bright with tears as she thought how she would meet her end in the other Garrisons. Alex pulled her in a hug, trying to comfort her.

As I gazed at the members of the 100th Training Corps, I smiled to myself. I finally have comrades I can depend on. As I gazed at the stars above me, I could feel as though the heavens were bestowing a blessing upon me. I may be the top ten but I'm not going into the corrupted Military Police Brigade. I will join the Survey Corps and free humanity from the Titans. _Watch me, dad. I will make you proud,_ I thought to myself, clutching the Survey Corps insignia I had in my fist over my heart.


	4. Joining the Survey Corps

**Its the weekend so here is a new chapter! I don't own the world of AOT or some of the characters. They belong to Hajime Isayama!**

I walked along the top of the wall, gazing at the scenary ahead of me. Rolling plains lay beyond, birds flying in the air and small towns dotting the distance. I took in a breath of air, letting it calm me. "No. 2 in the class eh?" a voice said and I turned to face a guy, his hair tied back in a ponytail. "Roger Mason," he said as he shook my hand. "I heard you excel best at 3D maneuver gear," he said as we turned to face the setting sun. "Yeah, what about it?" I asked.

"Rumours have it that you want to join the Survey Corps. Some even call you crazy, not using the chance to seek refuge within Wall Sina," he said. "One can't even call that crazy. Its crazier if you're the best but you lock yourself up away from the battle and let the weaker ones do your job," I replied and he nodded. "I wished I had a chance to join the Military Police Brigade but since I didn't make it to the top ten, guess I'm stuck with the other two options," he sighed.

"Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to join the Survey Corps," I said and he snorted. "Yeah. Maybe. But I'm too much of a coward to join that crazy faction," he said as he turned to leave. "You know, that place is said to be filled with eccentrics. You sure you want to pass the chance to live a life of luxury?" he asked and I nodded. "Positive," I said and he dipped his head. "Well, good luck to you then," he said as he left.

"What did that guy want?" Jon asked as he came to me, followed by Radu and Mona. "Just trying to get me to back out of joining the Survey Corps," I said. "Most people don't even survive a year in the Survey Corps from what I heard. But if you do live, you become a hero," Mona said. "That's what I'm planning to do," I said as we faced the horizon. The sun had begun to set, marking the time we have to go decide our futures. "Let's go," I said as I activated my gear, lowering myself to the ground as the others followed suit.

….

The place was crowded with the newly graduates, all of whom were in deep thought. Everyone was nervous about the whole choosing ceremony and some were even crying. "I'm going to die of boredom," one man said as his friend clamped his shoulder. "At least working in the Garrison isn't as bad as working in the Survey Corps," his friend said and he sighed. "You're probably right," he said as we passed by.

 _Who do these people think they are, bad-mouthing the Survey Corps? These are the people who actually do their job and fight Titans!_ I mentally screamed at myself as we approached the stage. When everyone had quiet down, a man strode onto stage, his face stern as though carved out of stone. "Hey, that's Commander Keith Shadis," someone whispered near me. "Eh, the Commander of the Survey Corps?" his companion whispered as the man cleared his throat.

"Congratulations on your graduation, recruits! Today is the day you choose which military faction you will go into. You know the three options so I don't have to explain any further. I'm just here to promote the Survey Corps," he said and some people groaned inwardly. "The Survey Corps conducts expeditions once every few months. Just to warn you, most of you will die within your first few expeditions and very few actually make it past five years in service. So if you value your own hides more than the fate of humanity, I suggest you turn tail and join the Garrison Forces and spend the rest of your lives fortifying walls!" he shouted and some people jumped.

The commander stared at all of us, causing some to gulp and even sob. Hannah was trembling so bad that she could barely stand. Even Alex looked wiped. "We plan to commence an expedition a weeks time to a small area 20 miles from Shiganshina. There we plan to reclaim some of the land lost to the Titans. I know none of you have ever come face to face with a Titan so unless you want to piss in your pants, I suggest you leave. Those who wish to join the Survey Corps, stay behind. The rest are dismissed!" he roared, the wind whipping around him.

Slowly, the crowd began to disperse, most of them walking out of the gates. "The Garrison Forces then," one girl said to her friend, who nodded in agreement. I stood my ground, watching as my comrades abandoned us to the jaws of the Titans. _What are you guys doing?! Aren't you here to fight Titans?! Why are you running away?!_ I screamed to myself as the group remaining dwindled. 50 people. 40 people. 30 people. Less than 20…

As I looked around, I saw some familiar faces that helped me relax. Radu took my hand along with Mona, squeezing tight. Jon smiled as he sidled next to me, the four of us joining hands. When I turned, I saw Roger Mason standing at the back, his face contorted with such pain and rage I thought he would break. As he looked up, he gave me a forced smile that looked like it was tearing his soul apart. _What are you trying to prove?_ I wondered to myself as the crowd continued to dwindle. I closed my eyes, trying to block out all the sounds around me.

When I finally opened them, only 15 people remained in the compound, half of them scared to shit or too shocked about their decision to speak. "Are you scared of fighting the Titans?!" the Commander roared and we yelled, "We're not going to die, sir!" "Then I accept your application into the Survey Corps! You are now all members! This is a true salute!" he yelled, slamming his right hand over his heart. All of us followed suit, our shouts filling the air as accepted our new life. _I did it, dad. I'm in the Survey Corps!_ I whispered to myself.

…..

"Good morning recruits! Nice to meet you all! I will be your Squad Leader, Hector Waller," a guy beamed at us, the middle of his head shaved bald. I eyed the patch as it glinted in the sun. "Well, then. Shall we start the tour?" he smiled as he lead us into the headquarters of the Survey Corps. The place was one huge castle, fitted into a military compound. There were barracks on the first floor and offices on the second. We could see people running about getting ready for the expedition that was to take place in the next few days.

"And this is where you people are sleeping. Girls on this side. Boys on the other. You guys get settled. Lunch will be ready at 12," he said as he left us to unpack. I walked into the room, grateful I was sharing rooms with Mona. "Can't believe we are actually here," she said as she swung herself onto the top bunk, knowing I liked the lower one better. "Ya," I said as I lay on my back. All of us were here together. Just the thought of that made me smile.

"Say Mona. Why did you join the Survey Corps?" I asked. "Fortifying walls for the rest of my life sounds boring," she smiled and I bumped fists with her. There was a knock on the door and Jon and Radu came in, sitting on the floor. "Hey, are guys even allowed to enter girl's rooms?" I asked as Radu rolled his eyes. "No big deal. Its not like we're going to do anything naughty, right?" he grinned as Mona swiped a pillow at him.

….

We readied the horses, our packs already slung on their backs. The Wings of Liberty flew on our backs, shining in the sky. "You ready for this?" Jon asked as I gripped the reins tightly. "As I'll ever be," I said as Squad Leader Waller called from the front. "Hey what are you recruits dawdling about? Get your hides over here!" he shouted as he galloped in front of us. "Okay. Just don't piss in your pants when we see any Titans," he said and we nodded.

"Let's go!' he shouted as we galloped at full speed, heading towards the walls of Shiganshina district. We came to a halt along with the other members of the Survey Corps, all of whom were packed like sardines in the small street. As I looked around, I saw a familiar face looking at us, her face full of lines. "Mum," I whispered as Jon gripped my hand. "Don't worry, we can do this," he said as the Commander shouted over the roar of voices.

"Listen up! The 46th expedition beyond the walls is about to begin! Prepare to commit your lives to humanity!" he yelled and everyone lifted their blades in the air, shouting at the top of their lungs. "Thirty seconds till the gates open!" one woman shouted as the Garrison pulled at the pulley, lifting the gate that secured the safety of humanity for the past hundred years. "ONWARD!" Commander Keith yelled as he reared up his horse and charged forward.

The rest of the corps followed suit, shouting as they exited the safety of the walls. As I passed the base of the walls and into the outside world for the first time, I felt freedom hit me like a wave. "Focus, recruits! Titans can emerge at any moment even though the scouts are trying to chase them off! Be on your guard!" Waller shouted as we rode down the rode. _This is it. I can finally kill all I want! I will kill the Titans!_ I grinned to myself as we rode into the outside world.

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	5. The 46th Expedition

**Chapter 5 is here! Shoutout to MrSmileyPikachu for reviewing since day one and to** **monster-staar for reviewing. I don't own the world of AOT. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

"ONWARD! DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE DESTINATION!" the commander shouted as he swung out his arm. We split into formation, breaking off into our teams of two. I rode alongside Mona, who grinned as she joined me. "Yo, partner," she said as the boys split off from us. The place was dusty from the stomping of hooves, hundreds of Survey Corp members dotting the scene.

"Titan approaching! Four o'clock!" a man shouted from nearby as one burst from the trees, walking as though he was holding in his shit. "Abnormal!" I shouted as I grabbed the flare and fired a green signal into the sky. More soon joined the fray as I placed a thumb on my trigger, letting loose my wiring. "Got you!" I screamed as I sliced at the Titan's heel. My blades cut through flesh and it fell to the ground, giving me the chance to swing and slice its nape.

It crashed to the ground without a sound, its eyes glancing vacantly. "Wow! Your first kill!" Mona said as she came next to me. The body had begun to emit steam as the body dissolved. "More coming ahead!" Waller yelled as a large group burst through the trees. "Recruits! Charge!" Waller yelled as he shot into the air, blades in the air. Yelling, we joined him in the air, slicing at the Titans.

"Help me!" a man yelled as a Titan slammed him under its foot. The man howled as he was crushed, blood staining the grass. Mona shrieked as she narrowly avoided a Titan, slicing at its nape. A small slice of flesh came out and she swore. "Not deep enough!" she yelled as a flash of blades came from before her, slicing her target's nape. Waller spun in the air with proficiency, his blades cutting the nape deep enough to kill it.

"What are you spacing out for, Rogers?! Focus on killing them!" he yelled as Mona shrieked again. A Titan grabbed the Squad Leader in its fist, crushing him. "Let go of me!" he yelled as he sliced at the Titan's fingers. The beast howled as it released him and the squad leader rolled onto the ground, grabbing his arm. "Squad leader!" I shouted as he waved a blade at us. "Continue!" he yelled as he got onto his horse, charging to warn the others.

Soon, we managed to kill the Titans, but not without suffering a large amount of casualties. Bodies littered the ground, most of them so mangled that we couldn't even identify them. "Damn it," I groaned, covering my mouth as Mona puked. "Come on. We need to regroup," I started to say as a red flare soared in the sky. "Dammit! What now?!" a guy cursed as we flung ourselves on the horses and galloped towards the source.

As we neared the clearing, a horrific sight met us. The entire left flank had been wiped out, their bodies dotting the scene. Horses lay in tatters while their owners were strewn about. "Holy shit," I muttered as I heard the sound of 3D maneuver gear being used. Radu shot from the trees, Jon in the rear as they charged at the Titans.

"Radu!" I yelled as they sliced at the Titans, managing to kill two of them. "Nice one Jon!" Radu yelled as he sliced into another Titan. "Let's go!" I yelled, rallying the troops to fight. We soar through the air, our hooks digging into flesh as we sliced into our prey. More screams of humans filled the air as men and women were killed, crushed or devoured alive.

"Someone… help me…" a girl begged as the Titan holding her in its fist crushed her before tossing the body into its mouth. "You asshole!" I screamed as I sliced into it, cutting the nape. The Titan howled, grinning as it collapsed to the ground. "Radu!" I yelled as Mona screamed. A strangled yell came from nearby and I slowly turned my head towards the source. Jon was slicing at the Titan, trying to free the person in its mouth. "Help me!" he yelled as he sliced with all his might.

I shot into the air, flying towards the titan, which towered 15m. It had a mop of hair as though he literally had mop for hair and his wide grin bared his teeth. My heart stopped and time slowed down when I saw the victim. In between the teeth was Radu, who looked too shock to react. "What the…" he whispered as Jon sliced at him. "Hold on!" he yelled as Mona soared towards him. "RADU! WE'RE GONNA SAVE YOU!" she screamed as she reached out for his hand. "Mona…" he whispered, reaching out his hand as the Titan bit down, separating his body from his legs.

"RADU!" Mona screamed as Radu fell to the ground, his lifeless body dropping like a sack of potatoes. Mona swept to the ground, grabbing his body. "Radu! Radu! Come on Radu! Breathe!" she screamed as she shook his body. His eyes were still open in shock, his mouth open slightly. "Radu…" she sobbed as she tried to do CPR. "Mona! Get out of there!" I screamed as I sliced into Titan flesh. The Titan that had killed Radu fell to the ground, its head rolling on the grass.

"Mona!" I screamed as Mona sat on the ground, too speechless. "Radu… Radu is…." She whispered as a large shape loomed behind her. "MONA!" I screamed as a Titan grabbed her in its fist. She screamed, kicking her legs as she tried to break free. "Damn it!" I shrieked as I flew towards it, hacking at its neck. "HELP ME! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" Mona shrieked, her eyes rolling in her head to the point of madness. "NOOO!" I screamed as the Titan crushed her in its fist.

Blood sprayed all over me, my face half covered with blood. The Titan dropped her, her body lying next to Radu's. "No… no…" I muttered as I flew, the world suddenly devoid of sound. "Izzy!" a blurred voice called out to me. As I looked up, I saw Jon flying past me towards the monster that had killed my friend. "Izzy! We have to kill it!" he yelled as he sliced at it. The Titan wrapped its fist around Jon, who kicked and screamed. As I glanced at the bodies of my friends, I gritted my teeth.

"YOU MONSTER!" I screamed as I hurled myself at the Titan, slicing deep into its nape. Its head came rolling off and it dropped Jon, who quickly shot through the air. "YOU KILLERS!" I screamed as I hacked away at the Titans, not caring about getting crushed or killed. I hated them. I wanted to kill them. They took away my family from me. I'M GOING TO KILL THEM ALL!

Flesh flew through the air, my blades sinking in over and over into bodies of Titans. Adrenaline coursed through my body, making me kill robotically over and over again. _I'll kill them… I'll make them pay for what they did to Radu and Mona… I'll make them pay in blood!"_ I yelled as I sliced into a Titan, stabbing its neck. It roared as I stuck on, slicing into its neck.

"Die! Die!" I shouted, stabbing my blades into it, blood coating me from head to toe. "Izzy! Stop! Its dead!" Jon yelled as I continued to sink in my blades. "Die! Die!" I yelled as Jon grabbed my arms, spinning me around. "Its already dead! Can't you see that?!" he yelled, pointing at it. As he shook me from my reverie, I glanced at the already steaming body below me. As I gazed at the scene around me, blood coating the battlefield, I started to scream.

"AHHHHH!" I screamed, holding my head in my hands. I continued to scream, my screams not even reaching my ears. "IZZY!" Jon yelled as he gripped me. "Come on! Don't! You'll attract more Titans here!" he yelled as he held onto me. "You're alright. You have me. You got me," he whispered as he cradled his older sister. The wreck of the older sister I truly am. As I calmed down, he gave a smile before collapsing into my arms.

"Jon! Jon!" I yelled, cradling him in my arms as he coughed. "Used too much energy…" he muttered as he coughed. I quickly took out his meds and stuffed them into his mouth before chugging water down his throat. He coughed and spluttered as he swallowed, the water mixing with blood. Titan and human blood. "Damn it," he muttered as he closed his eyes. I held my younger brother for a while before letting him lie on the ground.

"Isabelle Lightbane!" a voice called as Squad Leader Waller came next to me, his arm in a sling. "Squad leader!" I started to say. "The mission has been aborted! We're to return to Wall Maria immediately!" he shouted as he rode off, spreading the message to the other survivors. As I looked around me, I realized how much we had lost. Most of the people in my squad had been wiped out, their bodies scattered like grains of rice. I walked like a zombie to where Radu and Mona lay, their bodies side by side.

"Guys…" I whispered as I closed their eyes. "Forgive me… I was too weak! I couldn't save you guys!" I sobbed as I grabbed the grass in my fist. "Damn it all! Curse the damn Titans!" I screamed as I howled over my friends. As I sobbed, I wiped my eyes. The sound of a cart arriving filled the air as a wagon pulled up, the driver jumping down. "Hurry up and load the bodies before the Titans come back! If we don't move now, we'll get killed too!" he yelled and I gazed down at Radu and Mona as I bit my lip.

I slowly got down and carried Radu in my arms, his body light due to his other half being missing. I carried Mona next; her head snuggled against my chest as though she was asleep. "I am so sorry…" I whispered as I put them in white cloth and bounded them with rope. Some of the bodies were too mangled to bring so we decided to list them as MIA. It was better that way anyway. Seeing their mangled bodies would bring more grief to the families than comfort.

"Radu Spears. Mona Rogers," I informed the driver as he wrote down their names. "Got it. Thanks," he said as he turned to get on the wagon. It was so full of bodies that the cart creaked when he got on. "Another cart will be here soon to get you guys! Stand by!" he called as he rode off, the cart leaving dust in its wake. The rest of us just stared at it as it disappeared in the dust, wondering whether we'll end up like them.

"This is hell. We're in hell, aren't we?" Luke, a man from my squad muttered, tears streaking from his face. "Come on. We have to live for their sake!" Tim started to say before his voice choked too much for him to speak. He too started to sob and he squatted on the ground, putting his head in his knees. I could only hold onto Jon, stroking his head as we waited for help to arrive.

When the cart finally arrived, we got on without saying word and it rattled off towards the walls. I sat on the floor, holding onto the sleeping Jon. "How can a kid sleep through this?" one woman muttered, her eyes vicious. "This is his first expedition. Maybe he hasn't seen his comrades get chomped to pieces in front of him yet," another man started to say when I glared at them. "He nearly died protecting his friends and they still died! Can't you show some respect?!" I yelled.

"What do you know, recruit?! You've never seen all your comrades die in front of eyes before, haven't you?!" the man yelled back and some of the people in the cart shifted uncomfortably. "My friend was bitten in half! Another was crushed to death trying to save him! Are you saying they died in vain?!" I screamed as the co-driver got up and came to us, pushing us apart. "Hey, knock it out! Unless you want to call Titans to devour us, I suggest you shut up," he snarled and the man knocked away his hand, snorting.

"Insolent brat," he said as he took his seat, crossing his arms. I just sat on the floor, glancing at the passing scenery around us. _Maybe Luke is right… we're in hell…_ I thought as we rode to the walls.

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	6. Return to the city

**Yo guys! So here is the latest chapter. Anyway today is my birthday so I'm just gonna do some anime marathons, most probably on Free!. I don't own most of the characters. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

The sun beat upon our backs as we entered the open gates, the stench of defeat filling the air. I could barely lift my head as I looked at Shiganshina, the small town seemingly grinning at us. "Here they go again. Yelling like crazy this morning and coming battered in the evening. We're just wasting our taxes fattening them up," a man snorted. None of us had the strength to retort, our heads bowed low in shame and defeat.

"Wow! The heroes have come home!" a small voice shouted and I looked up to see a young boy clambering onto a crate, his eyes shining as he glanced at us. Although there was a slight falter in his smile, he still watched us with admiration and happiness. I smiled at him slightly and his eyes widened before he showed me a thumbs up. "One day! I'll be like you, big sis!" he called out just as some boys wrestled him to the ground.

"Shut up, Eren! Are you that stupid to go out there and be Titan fodder?" a boy sneered as he kicked the boy in the face. I clenched my fist as I got up. "Oi, what are you doing?" the co-driver started to say. "Go on without me. I'll catch up," I said as I hopped down from the crowd and shoved through towards the boy called Eren. "Oi," I said as I smacked the others kids out of the way. "Don't bully him. There are Titans outside. Want me to drop you to them?" I hissed. The boys yelped and scattered, swearing to get back at the boy.

"Thanks, big sis," the boy said as I dusted off his clothes. "Thanks for the compliment earlier," I said and he grinned, stroking his cheek. "Don't mention it. I really admire you guys you know," he said. "Eren, is it? Wait, you're that Doc's kid, right?" I asked and he nodded. "Ah, Eren Jaeger. I heard a bit about you from around town," I smirked and he flushed. "Can't be all good, I guess?" he muttered as I patted his head.

"Don't worry. I think you're a fine kid," I said as he laughed. "Cut it out," he said. "You want to join the Survey Corps one day?" I asked and he nodded. "Yeah, but my mum would kill me if she finds out," he muttered and I giggled. "Don't worry. I'll make sure that you get a spot when you enlist," I grinned, holding up my little finger. "Really?!" he gasped and I smiled. "Promise you will work hard and join the Corps," I said and he nodded. "Yup! I'm going to go kill all the Titans and see the outside world!" he said, making my heart stop.

For a moment I saw myself in this boy, an innocent soul who doesn't know the horrors of the outside world, watching your friends die in such horrifying ways that will give you nightmares forever. "You really remind me of someone," I whispered and he cocked his head. "Really? Who?" he asked and I just smiled,removing my cloak and wrapping it around me. "Keep this," I said as he squealed with happiness. "Wow! Thanks!" he smiled as I got up. "I've gotta go. Going to get left behind," I said as I turned and ran. "Bye, Big Sis!" Eren called, waving his hand as he ran towards the Jaeger household. _What a strange kid,_ I thought to myself as I ran down the street.

….

"Congrats recruit. You survived your first expedition," Captain Erwin said as he put down my file. "Thank you sir. But I don't think I deserve all the credit," I said. "Twenty Titan kills on your first expedition. That's quite the record. I heard your friends died," he said as he looked at me, his hands clasping together. "What, you're not going to say the whole "Sorry for your lost" shit?" I asked and he snorted.

"If you have been in the Survey Corps long enough, death becomes normal to you," he said as my breath hitched. "Normal?! How can someone dying ever be normal?!" I shouted, slamming my hands on the oak table. The captain merely looked at me, completely not stunned by my actions. "Recruit, if you let your emotions rule over you, it would drive you to madness in no time. You have to let go," he said.

"What? You mean give up my humanity?" I said as he stood up. He turned to face the window, the moon shining in the sky. He looked below him in the courtyard, where the bodies of the fallen were being burned before being laid to rest. "To defeat monsters, you must cast your own humanity aside," he said. "That's what Lance Corporal Levi said," I muttered as I clenched my fist.

"He did tell me you have an uncontrollable temper," he said. "I'm working on it," I mumbled as he faced me. "If you continue to hone your skills and survive the expeditions, you may even become commander one day," he said as he held out his hand. "This is the proof that your friends were ever alive," he said as he handed me two scraps of Survey Corps cloth. My breath hitched as I recognized them as Radu's and Mona's. "I'm truly sorry for your lost," he said as I began to sob.

He stood there, watching me cry my heart out. "Radu… Mona…" I sobbed, my tears flowing freely. I looked like a fool, joining a military faction that involves having comrades getting killed around me all the time. "I called you here for another reason. When the new batch of recruits comes, you are to be Squad Leader," he said. "Me?" I blurted as he smiled a nasty smile. "Let's see how you handle the lives of others. You're dismissed," he said and I saluted before leaving the room.

….

"Hey," I said as Jon opened his eyes. "What… where am I?" he rasped as I handed him some water. "Hey, take it easy. You're still recovering," I whispered as I helped fluff the pillows for him. As he gulped down his medication, he looked at me, his eyes wandering across my face. "You've been crying, haven't you?" he asked as I gripped my pants. "Yeah," I replied and he smiled sadly.

"I wish I could just wake up from this, pretend that it's all a dream. But they're dead, aren't they?" he whispered as I began to sob again. "I… I failed to save them! Because I hesistated… Radu and Mona died!" I sobbed, burying my face in my hands. "Shh," Jon whispered he guided my head to his lap, where my tears soaked the sheets. For a while we sat there, clinging onto each other as our comrades burned to ashes outside.

…..

"Oi! Isabelle!" a familiar voice called as I walked down the hall. "Roger!" I gasped as we hugged each other. "Holy shit. Its so good to see a familiar face," he said as he let go. "So how are things?" I asked as he rubbed his head. "Normal. Still having to train the horses," he said. I was in charge on training people in 3D maneuver gear while Roger was assigned to horse training, since he had grown up breeding horses. Jon on the other hand was busy helping the tactical team design new techniques to be used in the upcoming expedition. It's been three months since we lost Radu and Mona. We had gone on another expedition a few weeks ago and we lost many men. But the commander was so sure that we are getting closer to humanity's salvation.

"Say, you wanna get a drink some time?" he asked. "Thanks for the offer, but I don't drink," I started to say as he took my hands. "Come on. Not even a little?" he asked, his eyes pleading. "Roger, we live in a time where love can't come between us and humanity's salvation. I'm sorry," I said as I turned my heel. "But you seem so lonely. You need to unwind a bit before you go mad! Even Jon is worried about you!" he shouted. I stopped in my tracks and turned slowly to look at him, a mad grin on my face. "I'm already mad. Can't you tell?" I whispered as I walked way.

….

"Attention!" I shouted as the class of the 101th Training Corps recruits stood in front of me. There were more of them this year, almost thirty in total. "Welcome to the Survey Corps! My name is Isabelle Lightbane and I'll be your Squad Leader!" I said and I slammed my fist onto my heart. The recruits shouted as they did the same, saluting me. As I looked at their faces, my breath hitched as I noticed an all too familiar face.

"Mona?" I whispered as the girl stared at me, bewildered. "Ah no. I'm here younger sister, Leila," she said as I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I started to say as she put up her hands. "Don't apologize. Oni-chan always talked about you went she came home on leave. I wanted to join her place in fighting for humanity," she said and I smiled. I clapped my hands together and gazed at them.

"Recruits! I admire your strength and will to join the Survey Corps! Your lives and sacrifices will not be in vain, I promise you that!" I shouted and they saluted once more. "Listen up! One day, you'll understand what it means to be in the Survey Corps. You will lose friends. You may even lose yourself in the process. But your sacrifices will always benefit humanity," I said and I cleared my throat, trying to put the best smile on my face. "Well then, shall we have a tour of your new home, recruits?" I smiled.

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	7. Squad 101

**Since its my birthday, here is an extra chapter. I don't own most of the characters or the world of AOT. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

"Keep your heads forward! No matter what, don't stop!" I yelled as we shot through the trees. There was a group of Titans right at our heels. "Squad Leader!" a girl screamed as a Titan snatched her from the air and slammed her into its mouth. Others started to panic as guts and blood flew at us. "Go!" I yelled as we continued to make it further into the forest.

"I have enough!" Leila yelled as she turned back and charged at the Titans. I sighed as she sliced into one of the Titans, its flesh soaring through the air. She was more impulsive than her sister, never losing the chance to kill any Titans. After she heard how her sister had been killed from me, she had become more determined to kill them.

 _"Leila Rogers. 1_ _st_ _in her class of the 101th Training Corps. She's a little hot-headed so I guessed it would be a good chance to see how you handle this kind of people," Captain Erwin smirked as he handed me her file. It had been after the recruits had settled into their rooms and he had called me to look at their profiles. Most of them were average but she was an exception. The best in using 3D maneuver gear and great physical strength. Just what the Survey Corps needed._

"Don't be so rash, Leila!' I shouted as she regrouped with us. She had managed to slow down the Titans by a little bit. They trampled over their fallen comrade, its guts staining the trees. "Okay! Charge!" I yelled as we turned and charged at them, our blades in hand. I spun through the air, slicing into my Titan. It howled as it toppled to the ground, flattening a 5m class Titan. "Yeah!" Rico yelled as he sliced into his, the Titan falling into a tree.

"Watch out!" I yelled as the tree toppled towards us. We scattered as the tree slammed into the one we were perched in, the trees slamming into the earth. "Watch where you aim!" Leila shrieked at him as he rubbed his head sheepishly. "Sorry. Got too caught up," he said and I snorted. This was their very first expedition and for beginners, they seemed to be handling it better than what my batch had done. Only a quarter had been wiped out, while I had only seven of my batch left at the end of it.

"There's the town!" Davidson shouted, pointing to the ruins of a town beyond the trees. We started our descent, dropping into the outskirts of the town and continuing by foot. "Squad Leader Isabelle Lightbane, accounted for with Squad 101," I said as we reached the checkpoint. Everyone quickly gave their names to the guard posted, who jerked his thumb to the tents. When we entered, the heavy stench of blood filled the air as medics attended to the wounded.

"I'm going to be sick," Rico groaned as he watched a medic cutting off a man's infected leg. The man trashed and screamed as the saw worked its way through bone and Rico dashed out, the sound of puking following not long after. "Those who are injured, go see the medics," I told the squad and some of them quickly entered the tent. The rest of us walked to the rest area, where they were handing out rations.

"Thanks," I said to the person in charge and I gratefully planted myself on the bench, munching on the bread. "Wow, that was crazy," Leila said as she joined me. "You better not run off like that all the time. You'll get yourself killed," I said and she snorted. "Give me a break. I'm the best in my year so I should have no problem," she said as she bit into her bread. I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. No wonder Mona barely mentioned anything about her family. Her sister was a stuck up piece of shit.

"Lightbane. Report to command immediately!" Officer Dickson shouted and I quickly finished my meal, throwing it into the dish basin. The Command tent was not far from the dining area and I stood outside before being allowed to enter. "Squad Leader Lightbane, report," Commander Keith said, not looking up from the paper he was reading. "We suffered minimal losses. Only seven were lost," I said. "Not bad for your first aquad. You must have quite a team," he said as he shuffled papers together.

Captain Erwin stood nearby, deep in conversation with Lance Corporal Levi. The man gazed up and gave me a slight nod, which I returned. "I heard the younger sister of your late friend is in your squad," the commander said as he placed down the paper. He clasped his hands in front of him, his eyes darting at me. "Yes," I said. "I see. Anything else to report?" he asked and I shook my head. "Okay. You're dismissed. Take a team of five and patrol the parameter. If things get out of hand, send out a green flare," he said as I saluted and walked out.

"Dickson, you're with me. Rogers. Rico, get your asses here. Morrison, stop stuffing your face with food. We're moving out in an hour. Make sure your gears in shape," I ordered as they scattered to gather their things. "The Squad Leader is pretty freaky, isn't she?" Dickson whispered to Morrison. "I heard she lost her friends on her very first expedition. Can't really blame her. It's a surprise she is even still sane," he whispered but he quickly shut up when I cast a glance at them.

As I walked past the tents, I heard a string of giggles coming from one of them. When I swatted the door aside, I saw Rogers making out with Rico, who had his shirt off. "Have you no shame?! We're leaving in an hour!" I shouted as they shielded their eyes from the sun. Rico pecked a kiss on her lips before darting past me. The girl scowled as she got up and straightened her clothes. "Your sister would never do such a thing," I snorted. "Well, I'm not the good girl my older sister is, am I?" she snapped as she swatted past me. "Teenagers," I grumbled under my breath before remembering I'm only seventeen and she was no younger than I am.

An hour later and we were on horseback, riding north of the town. "The sun is setting so there shouldn't be that many Titans about," I said as we rode. "Yeah. I hope we can go back soon…" Morrison muttered as his eyes darted around, searching for Titans. We were a mile from camp when the sound of footsteps shook the earth. "Titan ten o'clock!" Rico shouted as one charged at us, its hands outstretched.

"Dammit. It had to be an abnormal," I groaned as I pulled the trigger, pulling myself into the air. I latched onto its heel and sliced it, a chunk of meat flying across the ground. As it toppled, I spun, slicing its nape. "That was so cool," Davidson commented as I landed back on my horse.

"Don't wow me! We have company dead ahead!" I shouted, jerking my finger u front to reveal a stampede of Titans heading our way. "Head for the forest! Rico, send out a green flare!" I shouted and they yelled in unison, turning their horses towards the trees that lay ahead. "Once we're within range, switch to 3D maneuver gear!" I shouted. A Titan came running up next to me and I heard the sound of a device being used, the beast's head rolling to the ground moments later.

"Haha! That makes five!" Leila shouted as she clambered back on her horse. "Quit showing off, Rogers!" Rico shouted but at the same time he was grinning. "We have to hold out as long as we can until backup arrives! Try to aim for the treetops! Don't waste your energy trying to kill them if you can't!" I shouted as I released my wires, the hooks digging into tree bark. I shot in the air, followed by my team not long after. "They're gaining on us!" Davidson yelled as the Titans crashed through the trees.

"They just don't give up, eh?!" Rico shouted as he lunged at them. "Get back here!" I yelled as he sliced into the nape of a Titan. "Haha!" he yelled in triumph as the Titan slammed into the ground. The impact shook the trees, pine needles falling around us. "Ouch," Morrison groaned as he picked at the leaves. "Watch out!" Davidson yelled as a Titan lunged at them, its mouth wide open. "Ahhh!" Morrison screamed as the Titan bit off his leg.

He howled as he lost balance, falling to the earth. "Morrison!" I yelled as Davidson turned and lunged for him. "You monster!" he yelled as he lunged at the Titan. The Titan swatted at him like a fly as Morrison crashed to the ground with a sickening thump. As Davidson turned to look at his friend, the Titan snatched him up in its hands, a large grin on its face. "Help me! Someone!" he screamed as the Titan brought him closer to its mouth.

"Damn it all!" I shouted as I lunged at the Titan, who tossed the recruit to its pals, who snatched him like a toy. We could only watch as Davidson howled as he was torn to pieces by the Titans. "NO!" Rico yelled as he sliced into them. "You beasts!" Leila screamed as she sliced into one of them, her blades cutting deep. One by one the Titans fell as the recruits slashed at them. I did my fair share of fighting, cutting down most of them. Titans continued to appear, never seeming to end.

"We have to go!" I yelled as the recruits slashed into them. "How can we?! They just killed our friends!" he yelled back. "We're soldiers and soldiers die all the time!" I shouted as I killed a Titan. "We're falling back! Retreat!" I shouted as I started to move away. "You're a coward to abandon your comrades!" Rico shouted as he lunged at a small Titan, hacking off his head. "Rico! Watch out!" Leila screamed as a Titan slammed him into a tree.

Rico rolled into the dirt, his head bleeding badly. "Rico!" Leila cried out as I snatched her from the air. "We have to go! We'll be killed at this rate!" I shouted in her ear as she wept. "Rico! Rico!" she continued to scream as the Titan picked him up and held him in front of it. Rico slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to face us, mouthing out words that clenched my heart. "Run," he whispered as the Titan chomped off his head.

"NOOOO!" Leila screamed as we shot away from the scene. The Titans had begun to feed to the bodies, their howls and shrieks filling the air. We flew in silence for a while, Leila sobbing the whole way until we reached the horses. As we galloped back to base, I glanced at Leila, whose eyes were red from crying. "We left them.. we left them to die…" she whispered. "They were already dead. At least the Titans didn't chase us so their deaths were not in vain," I said.

"How could you say that?! They were your squad members! How could you treat them like trash to be tossed aside?!" she screamed as I stared stonely ahead. "You'll get used to it," I muttered as she continued to scream further. "Get used to it?! What kind of excuse is that to toss aside your friends?! Was that how it was with Mona Oni-chan?! Did you just leave her to die out there and save your ass?!" she screamed as I stopped my horse suddenly.

We were not far from base so I got down from my horse to face her. Stunned, she got down and walked towards me. "Squad leader, I…" she started to say as I slapped her hard across the face. She was too stunned to retort, her head turning the other way. As she looked back at me, her eyes widened as she saw the tears streaming down my face. "How can you think of your sister like that?! Of course I cared for her! She died in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it! How did you think I feel?! I lost all my friends in a single day!" I shouted, my voice ringing in the air.

"Squad leader," she murmured as I turned my heel. "Now you understand what I meant by admiring your courage in joining the Survey Corps. You need hell lot of courage to face the reality of your comrades dying any minute whenever you step foot beyond the walls,' I said as I grabbed the reins of my horse and lead it to camp. "Squad leader!" Leila called after me but I ignored her. I was too busy trying to stop the tears from flowing freely. _Forgive me, everyone. I truly failed you all as a Squad Leader,_ I thought to myself as I entered camp.

 **All** **comments are welcomed!**


	8. Shattering of the mind and soul

**Chapter 8 is here! I don't own most of the characters. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

"Isabelle-san!" a voice called out to me from far away. I slowly lifted my head to look into a pair of worried eyes. "We're reaching the walls. If you need to see a medic, let me know," he said as I smiled weakly. "Its not my body I need to mend," I said and he nodded, understanding what I meant. He returned to his seat, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. As I stared at the body that lay at the bottom of the wagon, my eyes filled with tears.

….

 **Not too long ago…**

"Titans ahead!" one of the men up ahead yelled as a green flare soared into the sky. We had barely even begun our expedition and we have already run into Titans along the way. "Tsk. When will they ever stop coming?" Roger snarled as he pressed his trigger, releasing his wire. He soared through the air and cut into the nearest Titan, its body slamming onto the ground with a thump.

"Let's go!" I yelled at my new squad members, all of whom were fresh from the Training Corps. They yelled in unison and rose into the air, their blades drawn. Among them, Leila rose silently into the air, her face expressionless. She had become very withdrawn after losing Rico and the others on our previous expedition. Not like I could blame her. We didn't even had time to bring back the bodies but they were too mangled to bring back anyway.

I sliced into a large Titan with a bald spot, its grin never faltering as it died. "You ass," I snarled as I leapt onto another one, slicing into it. Blood sprayed onto me but I didn't care. Too many lives have been lost to care about myself getting soaked with blood. Steam rose from where it coated my flesh and I tried not to hiss. Titan blood was acidic and burns off human flesh when in contact. I spat out some of my own blood as I helped out my recruits, some already Titan fodder.

"That was hellish," Ron, a new recruit muttered as we rode away from the scene. "There wasn't even anything left to recover," Madsie, a small girl with pigtails whispered as she peered from beneath thick spectacles. "You'll get used to it," a cool voice said as the recruits turned to look at Leila, who had her head hung low. "Leila-senpai," Madsie murmured as a red signal shot into the sky.

"Shit, that's where the right flank is!" Ron cursed as we changed our course. Today we were to just survey the area for any ruins of towns that could be useful in the future but so far things were turning into a mess. "The right flank," I murmured under my breath as a thought came to my mind. _Jon… Jon's there!_ I thought, my heart already racing. He could barely fight the Titans with his condition and for his unit to run into a large group of them…

"Full speed ahead!" I yelled as we rode towards where the right flank was. We were soon joined by a few other squads, most of them already diminished to half of their original number. "Blast those Titans! We've been out for barely an hour!" Ulou, a senior member of the Corps snorted. "Come on, Ulou. Think of all the Titans you can kill," his friend said and Uluo smiled a little. "Well, if Lance Corporal Levi were to notice…" he started to say as he bit down on his tongue. "Here we go again," his friend sighed as blood sprayed from Ulou's mouth, who howled and cursed. For some weird reason, he's always biting his tongue. Plus he's a fanatic Levi worshipper.

As we approached, we could hear the sound of 3D maneuver gear being used and the cries of soldiers fighting and dying filled the air. "Onward!" Ulou yelled as he leapt off his horse, activating his gear and shooting into the air. The others followed suit, the recruits too scared to utter a sound. We sliced into the Titans, limbs flying and heads rolling. As I fought, I glanced around frantically, looking for my little brother.

"JON!" I shouted, shooting past Titans and humans as I searched. People around me shouted as they were bitten or as they killed their targets. "Help me!" a man cried out as two Titans pulled him apart. I ignored him, caring about my brother more than my comrades. "PLEASE! I DON'T WANNA TO DIE! HELP ME!" Madsie screamed as a Titan swallowed her whole. I could hear Ron shouting, trying to free her from its mouth but it was too late.

"Oi, where is Jon Lightbane?" I shouted at one of the members of the right flank, who was helping a wounded man to his feet. "He went after one not far from here. He went into that clearing over there!" he said and I thanked him, shooting in that direction. _Jon, you moron. You know 3D maneuver gear doesn't work well in open spaces,_ I cursed to myself as I entered the said clearing, my eyes widening.

Several men lay dead on the ground along with the steaming corpse of Titans. Jon was flying in the air, a lone soldier trying to fend off three lumbering Titans. "Jon!" I yelled as I sliced into the heel of one of them. "What the hell are you doing here?!" he demanded as he tried to slice at one of them. "Damn it! I can't get a clear shot!" he shouted as he landed on the ground next to me. One of them smiled widely, its mouth opened to reveal blood stained teeth.

"Come on. It's two against one. The odds aren't too bad," I said, trying to sound calm. No one else knew we were here and until then, we had to kill them on our own. "Let's go!" I shouted, digging my wire into a Titan and flying up. Jon tried to follow but he started to cough, falling to his knees. "Jon!" I cried out as I cut the nape of the Titan I was on. "Dammit. Of all times," he said as a Titan lumbered over him.

"Jon!" I yelled as the other Titan moved in front of me, shielding me from view. "Get out of the way!" I shouted as I sliced at it fingers as it reached out to me. It stared dumbly at his severed fingers as I swung at him, cutting out his eyes before moving to the neck. As my prey fell, I looked up to find the world stopping.

The Titan had Jon in it's grasp, half of Jon in its mouth. Images of Radu came into my mind as my body shook. "Get out of here!" Jon strangled out, his mouth covered with blood. "JON!" I screamed as I flew at them. I hacked at its nape but it didn't sink deep enough. "Damn!" I screamed as the Titan bit down harder. "JON!" I screamed as his blood flew around, splattering my face. As the Titan swallowed the lower half of his body, Jon fell to the ground, his body landing with a sickening thumb.

"NOOOOO!" I screamed, slicing into the Titan's nape. Now it came off and it collapsed onto the ground, the lower half of Jon's body tumbling out of its mouth. "Jon! Stay with me! Jon!" I screamed as I cradled him. He was barely breathing, his breathing shallow. "Come on! Don't die on me! Jonathan!" I shouted, tears falling from my face. I desperately tried to grab the lower half, my arms outstretched. "We're going to put you back together. You'll be alright then, ok?" I stammered, my hands shaking so much that my blades fell to the ground.

"You never call me Jonathan," he groaned as he opened his eyes. He coughed as I cradled him. "Please. Leave me here. If the Titans come, you'll die," he whispered. "No! You're the only person left in the Corps I trust! How can I leave without you?! How can I explain this to mum?!" I sobbed as he brought up his hand. "Shhh," he whispered as he stroked my cheek. "I'm better off dead anyway. I wouldn't have lasted in the Training Corps if you hadn't helped me," he said.

"That's not true… you tried your best to get into the Corps on your own. You're not useless," I whispered. "I'm sorry for ever being a burden to you," he whispered as his eyes slowly closed. "Jon! Don't! Help is on the way! Please!" I begged as he smiled. "I love you, sis," he whispered as he closed his eyes. His hand fell to his side and the wind blew at hi hair, his soft brown hair waving in the wind. As I held my dead brother in my arms, I felt the ground shake beneath me.

As I slowly turned, the shadow of a Titan covered us, its face contorted in a grin. It smiled as it slowly picked me up from the ground. I didn't even try to react as it stared at me, examining its next meal. _What's going on? Is this a dream?_ I thought to myself as I gazed at my younger brother's corpse. As the Titan brought me closer to its mouth, I closed my eyes. "At least I'll be with you soon," I whispered as the sound of blades filled the air.

Before I realized what was going on, I was falling to the ground, the blood of the Titan staining me. "What the hell are you doing?!" Ulou yelled as he swung next to me, his face covered with Titan blood. I looked at him dumbfounded, my mind completely blank as I turned my head. Near me lay Jon, who lay so peacefully as though he was asleep. "Snap out of it, Isabelle! Unless you want to die, fight!" he shouted as he swung into the air once more.

I knelt on the grass, my arms limp at my sides as I watched the scene unfold around me. Reinforcements were coming and they hacked at the Titans, spilling blood all over. The tide was turning and mankind was winning this battle. But as I watched them take down our prey, I could only sob as I thought of how much I had failed. _Radu… Mona…Jon…I failed you all,_ I whispered in my head as the tears came out.

"Isabelle!" Ulou shouted as a Titan lunged at me. Everything seemed to go in slow motion, the Titan lunging at me arms outstretched like a child grabbing for its toy. I leapt out of the way, my head blank as I drew my blades, sinking them into its neck. The nape came off and the Titan lay still, steam emitting from its body. "We got what we came for! Head back to Shiganshina!" Ulou shouted as we got on the horses and fled.

"Wait," I muttered as I knelt down next to Jon. "The wagon is on its way! Hold on for a minute!" Ulou shouted as he rode with those who can still ride. As I waited for the wagon to arrive, I just sat down on the grass, stroking Jon's hair like I always do when he sleeps. "Jon, we won this time. Your death was not in vain," I whispered as I leaned down to kiss his forehead. "You're going home," I whispered as the sound of galloping hooves approached.

"Heave them on!" the driver shouted as he got down, his pen already at ready. Slowly, we began to heave the bodies on board, all of them wrapped in white cloth and tied at the head and legs. I couldn't bear to do the same to Jon but it would be unfair to the rest if I didn't do so. I got down and removed his cloak, cutting out the insignia on his jacket and pocketed it along with a lock of hair. As I pocketed it, I felt a piece of paper in his breast pocket. When I scanned the address, I quickly pocketed it.

"Isabelle, we're leaving!" the driver yelled as everyone got onto the wagon. I called out in response and gently lifted Jon into the cart, covering his face with the cloth. "That's your brother, eh?" the driver said as we rode down the road. "Yeah," I said as I glanced at Jon, who's hair was still visible. "I am sorry, truly I am," he replied as he turned to face the road. The rest of the survivors were quiet the whole way, some of them injured and the others too spooked out to speak. One woman wringed her hands together, her eyes bulging while a man nibbled his nails, which were already coated with blood.

We made it to the walls by evening, the gates yawning open in greeting. As we walked back into the city in our normal fashion of defeat, I noticed the streets were more deserted than usual. I didn't even see young Eren out here. _Must have gotten scolding from his mother or something…_ I thought as the driver spoke up. "Hey Isabelle, since you live around here, why don't you deliver the news to your mother? It would be easier for her to handle if you told her. We'll be waiting at the docks," he said and I nodded gratefully, jumping down from the wagon.

As soon as my feet touched the pavement, I ran for my home, my legs never stopping even though I was so worn out from all the fighting and crying. As I ran, tears flew from my eyes, streams of water flying in the air. Some people eyed me as I ran towards my home and I stopped at the door, panting heavily. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, which swung open almost immediately. "Isabelle?" my mum whispered as I stood at the door. "Mum…" I started to say as she looked at the cloak I held in my arms.

"Oh Isabelle… you're alive! I'm so glad!" she sobbed as she flung her arms around me. "Mum… I'm so sorry. Jon died because of me," I sobbed as she patted me. "Don't be silly child. It wasn't your fault," she whispered as both of us sobbed into each other. "I managed to salvage something," I said as we distangled ourselves from each other. I reached my hand into my breast pocket and handed the insignia, hair and letter to my mother, who took them with shaking hands.

As she opened the letter and scanned through it, more tears sprang from her eyes as she handed it to me. As I watched her go inside the house and sob over the loss of her son, I opened the letter and began to read.

 _My dearest mother and Isabelle, whom I know would be reading this letter as well,_

 _I'm sorry I left you so suddenly. I wrote this in case I never managed to make it back from battle. This would be kept in my breast pocket at all times should I ever die, someone could retrieve it. Mother, I know you worry about us fighting the Titans but we wish to fight for humanity. I chose to leave on my own accord so that I can fulfill my promise to dad to protect Izzy when he was gone. Don't worry. We have a lot of fun here in the Survey Corps. People here are crazy but they're great and all. I'm with the tactical team who plans how we go past the walls since they found out about my condition._

 _I am really sorry for having worried you all these years but I promise I will never let you down and protect humanity to the end of my days. How I wish I can come home and see you but I'm afraid that I can't. Perhaps some day, me and Izzy can come see you once more. I love you mum._

 _P.S. To Izzy, I know you will be the one to find this letter and I trust that you have given it to mum and read it as well. I hope you find peace in your life as a Survey Corps soldier even if I am gone. Learn how to unwind a little, some of the recruits think you're scary. I will always be there for you in your heart. I love you._

 _From your son and brother,_

 _Jonathan Lightbane_

Tears stained the paper as I held it to my chest, sobbing over my brother. "Oh Jon, you moron," I whispered as I entered the house. My mum was rubbing her eyes, which were red and swollen. "Sorry but I have to go," I started to say when she hugged me. "I never regretted you joining the Survey Corps and I am proud of what you have become. I will always love you," she said as I held onto her. "Here, take this with you," she said as she pressed the insignia into my hand. "But mum…" I started to say when she interrupted. "I never liked this military stuff anyway. It would be better if you had it by your side," she said as I held it in my fist. "Thanks," I said and I kissed her quickly on the cheek before running out. As I left the house, I turned to see her dropping to her knees on the ground and sobbing, her sobs haunting me to this day.

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	9. The fall of Shiganshina

**Ok for those who have been reading the story to this point, hope you did mind what happened in it. It pained me to kill off Jon like that but for me in the world of AOT no matter how good a person is, when they fail the die and it wouldn't be logical for Jon to remain alive as long as he did in the Corps due to his heart** **condition. Anyway, it sucks killing off your original character. I don't own the world of AOT. It belongs to Hajime Isayama.**

I stood at the edge of the funeral pyre, the flames roaring in the air. Ashes floated like snowflakes to the ground as the bodies burned. Jon was lucky to have his own pyre. Some who were too mangled to burn on their own were chucked in piles and burned together. People stood around, some just sitting on the ground silently while others were sobbing uncontrollably. I could make out some of those who had lost their family or lovers, their faces so torn apart that I wondered whether I am actually the mad one here.

I had Jon's cloak wrapped around me, giving me the warm comfort he had always given me when he was alive. As I clutched the cloak, I sang a little tune my father used to sing to us when we were little.

 _I was certain that there could be,_

 _No hell worse than this,_

 _But humanity's uglier days reared its ugly head again_ ,

 _A ceaseless rumbling wave of terror and cruelty is coming,_

 _Transforming everyday into a waking nightmare,_

 _Those who defy our efforts,_

 _Are our enemies and must be defeated,_

 _In these wretched days, how do they look upon us?_

 _What expressions decorate their faces?_

 _What are you willing to sacrifice to overthrow these demons?_

 _Offer up your eternal life and soul without even a second of regret!  
Dedicate! Dedicate!_

 _Dedicate your heart to this cause!_

 _Remember all the lives that brought us to this moment!_

 _Dedicate! Dedicate!_

 _Dedicate your heart to this cause!_

 _And rebuild the future with your own two hands!_

As I finished singing the last notes of the song, I realized I had placed my fist over my heart and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I continued to stand in that position as the flames devoured my brother's body. I could almost imagine his soul flying to the heavens to join my father and the other's. I closed my eyes, picturing them hugging onto each other and smiling. At least in heaven, Jon wouldn't have to worry about his heart condition. As I watched the ashes rain upon the earth, I clutched the cloak, promising to never give in to the Titans.

…..

The months passed by fairly quickly and I soon celebrated my third year in the Survey Corps, which sort of made me a bit of a veteran. But I couldn't even compare to some of the others who have been here more than five years. These guys had the sort of aura telling people that they were the bosses in killing Titans and have lived to tell the tale through both skills and luck. But I guessed it was mostly skills. I didn't believe in luck.

The time soon came for us to begin out expedition and we rode out as always, searching for a new outpost. "Strange isn't it? I don't see that many Titans out here," I mumbled under my breath. "Don't get too cocky, Isabelle," Heinfield said just as someone shouted up ahead. "There's a large group of Titans! Incoming twelve o'clock!" he shouted as he let loose a flare. We quickly scattered and fought the Titans, but not without losing nearly half of our men.

As we made our way back to Shiganshina, I braced myself to be pelted by insults once more. As I glanced up from my horse, I noticed Eren standing on a pile of crates, his signature smile plastered on as usual. But his smile faltered as he saw how beaten up we were. This was the shortest expedition we ever had on record, coming back within four hours. The Titans had swarmed us out of nowhere and pushed us back to the walls.

Eren carried firewood on his back with a young girl by his side. Her pale complexion was different from that of girls I normally come across and her black hair was unique. "Asian. She's the last of her kind from what I heard," Heinfield whispered. "What the heck is she doing here with the doctor's kid anyway?" I whispered back when I heard a wail from ahead. A woman had received what was left of her son and was crying over the arm.

"My son… he did not die in vain… didn't he? He contributed to humanity, did he not?!" she shrieked as the commander stared at her. "Of course…" he started to say when he stopped in mid sentence. His body started to shake and all of us went silent, wondering what was going on. "No…" he began, taking me off guard. "Through this mission… no. Through all our missions, we… HAVE FAILED TO EVEN LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT THE TITANS! Because of my incompetence, I've gotten soldiers killed for nothing and we failed to learn anything about them!" he yelled, the whole crowd of both civilians and soldiers silent.

I was too shocked to even react. Heinfield was just as stunned, his mouth half opened. One woman had her hand put over her mouth and the old woman who clutched her son's arm stared the commander, her eyes wide and shocked at the revelation. "My son… died for nothing…" she whispered. "I am sorry. I truly am," Commander Keith said as he got up and leapt onto his horse, clicking the reins.

We soon followed suit, our procession of defeat casting a shadow over the town. I couldn't see my mother anywhere, guessing she was still too traumatized over Jon's death to see more wounded people coming home when her son had been killed. "Has the commander gone nuts?" I wondered aloud. "About time he does. I wondered how he even managed to stay sane for this long. The Survey Corps is the most hellish faction to command," Heinfield muttered as we passed through the gate leading to the waterway.

We spent the next several hours sitting in the boats, too tired to even think of what was going on around us. As the sun started to set a little, we heard a boom from the distance. "What the hell was that?" Heinfield muttered as he stood up. Most people were too tired to react but some started to point at what had happened at the source. I could make out small shapes of birds scattering in the sky and a large object appeared from a barely visible cloud of steam.

"Holy shit! Is that a Titan?!" a woman gasped as more joined her. Soon more joined her at staring at the horrific spectacle going on at where we had been a few hours earlier. "Shiganshina…" I whispered to myself when something dawned to me. Shiganshina was one of those cities built to lure Titans away from other districts. They were designed in such a way so that when Titans invade, the Garrison Forces could seal off the town, preventing the Titans from getting further into the walls. But the people of that town would have to be sacrificed as Titan fodder to keep them at bay.

"My mum… my mum is there!" I shouted as I clambered to the side. "Oi, Isabelle! Don't be stupid!" Heinfeild shouted as I readied my gear. "We are hours away from Shiganshina! There's nothing we can do!' Heinfield shouted as he tried to wrestle my hands from my gear. "I already lost my brother! I can't lose my mum too!" I shouted as heavy footsteps approached us. "What is the commotion," Captain Erwin said as everyone quickly stood at attention.

"I want to go back to Shiganshina," I said and he snorted. "Even by horseback, Shiganshina is at least half a days' ride away from where we are now. I doubt you would be able to make it there in time," he said. "But my mum…" I started to say when he put up a hand. "Has still a chance of surviving should she have made it to the boats in time. You can check the refugees list when we get back," he said. "Sir, how can you be so calm in a situation like this?" Heinfield retorted as the captain turned away.

"You have been in much worse situations then this, haven't you? Shouldn't you be used to it by now?" Captain Erwin said as we gulped. The whole boat had gone silent, the sound of booms of canons firing in the distance the only sound in the air. "I suggest you suck it up and sit down quietly," he said as he strode off. Everyone muttered among themselves, some of them starting to sob. "My family is in Shiganshina," one girl whispered as her friend hugged her. "Don't worry. I'm sure they're fine," her friend said.

"Damn it, if they get past Shiganshina, the other districts within Wall Maria are finished," Heinfield said as he sat back down. We could only watch the chaos unfolding in the distance and I prayed for everyone's safety.

…..

Few days later, we received word that Wall Maria had been breached and that now Titans are crawling into our lands. Most of the major cities had been evacuated but word travels slow to those small towns in the pockets of the land, especially those in the mountains. I pitied those who were unable to hear the news in time and wake up one day to find themselves face to face with a Titan. I didn't receive any word about my mother so I could assume she was dead. My heart ripped apart, knowing I had lost my entire family to the Titans.

We had to change the routes of our expeditions due to the invasion but we also spend some of our days evacuating people to Wall Sina and killing Titans that had ventured too near human territory. Compared to how we fared when we had gone beyond the walls, things seemed to be going just fine. The expeditions continued as normal and we lost more men as the days went pass. By now, I had gotten so used to death that I barely flinched when people died around me.

Another pressing matter we had to deal with was the resignation of Commander Keith. The expedition before the fall of Shiganshina had taken its toll on him and he quit a few days after Shiganshina fell. As rumours spread around about who was going to be the new commander, a name already came to my head. When I knocked on the door of the Commander's office, a familiar voice came from beyond.

"Come in," he said and I swung open the door to see Commander Erwin seated behind the desk, papers strewn all around him. Being commander had left him with a lot of paperwork to do. "A monster like you is now commanding the Survey Corps," I said and he smiled. "Only a monster can defeat other monsters," he said as he shuffled his papers "Don't tell me you only came here to call me that," he said. "I just wanted to congratulate you," I said and he snorted. "A congratulations coming from you is highly unlikely," he said.

"Well, I just want to say I would be glad to work with you," I said and he raised a bushy eyebrow. 'That was a surprise, coming from the girl who detested someone who could throw away their humanity to fight the Titans," he said as he stood up. "Like you said, we need a leader who can fight monsters," I said. "True, but can you be certain that you will follow every order I say?" he asked. Fuming, I slammed my fist over my heart. "I swear I will obey your every command sir!" I shouted.

"Glad to hear that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of paperwork to do that the ex-commander left me," he said as he shooed me out. As I walked, I overheard people talking about the new Training Corps. "More people joined this time from what I heard," one of them said. "Yeah. Some of them even came from Shiganshina. Can't believe those people want to go back into the jaws of those who took everything away from them," another said as I walked past them. _Eren, are you with them_? I wondered to myself as I walked down the corridor.

….

I sat on my horse, ready to leave the city. A crowd of people had gathered to see us off, some happy and some not too happy. "Here they go again," one fat man snorted as he puffed his pipe. Some of the recruits had even come, some of them gazing at us in wonder. "Wow, they're so cool," one boy said as his companion nudged him. "Maybe if we survive this, we may enter the Survey Corps," she grinned as she hooked an arm around his. As I looked around, I saw the face of a now older Eren Jaeger, who stood with a blonde haired boy and the Asian girl.

 _Eren Jaeger. Ranking fifth in his class. Has a strong determination to excel but has a hot temper. Kind of reminds me of someone…_ I smiled to myself as Hanges-san shouted from the front. "I wonder what kind of new Titans I can meet today!" she wheezed as Lance Corporal Levi snorted. "Shut up, weirdo. You're scaring the recruits," he said and she coughed, straightening her back as Commander Erwin shouted from the front.

"The 56th Expedition is about to begin! Prepare your hearts!" he yelled as we withdrew our blades, brandishing them in the air. "Thirty seconds until the gates are open!" a Garrison Force soldier shouted as they pulled open the gate, the heavy concrete lifted in the air. As the gate yawned in front of us, I smiled to myself as he yelled, "ADVANCE!" Everyone roared with energy and rode into titan territory, our voices carried by the wind. _Eren Jaeger, I hope you and your friends will join the Survey Corps,_ I thought as the 56th Expedition beyond the walls commenced.

 **Man I really enjoyed writing the lyrics for AOT season 2 opening. It is my favourite theme song by far and when I wrote this chapter I thought the lyrics would make it good as a song of victory for the Survey Corps. They should make it their theme song.**

 **All comments are welcomed!**


	10. The new generation of the Survey Corps

**New chapter! I really had fun writing this so far and including the** **scenes from the anime gave me a good reason to rematch the series and man... it was amazing to relive the world of AOT again. It was like I had come home, embracing all of the characters once more. I don't own most of the characters or the world of AOT. They belong to Hajime Isayama.**

"Fall back! Fall back to Trost District!" the commander yelled as the sound of booms came from the distance. We had already run into Titans on the way to our destination and now we are running to a hellhole filled with them. "What the hell is going on?!" Heinfield cursed as we turned our horses, his horse rearing up in protest. "Damn it I know!" I shouted back as we turned back and headed back to Trost District. A streak of bright orange lightning had came from the sky, striking the ground with a slam as the Colossus Titan appeared once more and destroyed the gate.

"We can't let them take the city!" the commander yelled as we hurried back to the city. The sounds of booms and roars could be heard from the distance as Titans swarmed into the city. We were about an hour's ride from the city and I cursed under my breath. What the heck was going on? Everything had been peaceful for the past few years and now what had happened at Shiganshina is happening again? This world is getting so messed up.

We rode in silence, saving our energy for our coming battle. As we approached, we picked up a few stray Titans, lumbering around in search of human prey. "I got this!" Heinfield yelled as he released his wires, which dug into the bricks of a building. Thank goodness we were in a desolated town with plenty of buildings for us to use our 3D maneuver gear. For once, it felt like the odds were not against us.

Moments later, a large chunk of flesh flew from the sky as the Titan crashed into one of the buildings, crumbling it to dust. "Save your energy! We still have Titans to kill!" I shouted as he grinned, putting back his blades. "You're about to get lucky! More up ahead!" he yelled as a large swarm of Titans emerged from behind the buildings. "Scatter!" Commander Erwin shouted, throwing out his arm and all of us switched to 3D maneuver gear, flying into the sky.

"Take this!" I shouted as I dove at a Titan, slicing into its arm before hitting home at its nape. It roared as it tumbled to the ground, flattening another Titan. "AH!" a scream came as a girl sliced into a Titan, it's head rolling to the ground. "Yes!" she shrieked as she came near me. I recognized her as Petra, one of the top students of her year. She smiled at me as she zoomed towards another Titan, decapitating it with ease. Man, I admire her agility. I feel so old…

A blurr passed me in a second and I could barely make out the person before the Titan before me crashed to the ground, narrowly avoiding flattening Uluo, who cursed. The man who emerged from the spray of blood dropped onto the roof of a building, clicking his tongue as he wiped his blades. Lance Corporal Levi was always the one to remain neat and tidy, even when he gets his blade dirty every single time he kills a Titan, which is very often. Even so, he was one of the strongest members of the Survey Corps, and he didn't even go for any sort of training whatsoever.

"Lance Corporal Levi!" Petra shouted as she landed next to him along with Uluo. "You could have avoided squashing me you know," he snapped as the Lance Corporal threw away his bloody cloth. "Well, would you have preffered to be eaten or squashed?" he muttered as Uluo fumed. Petra tried to separate the two and I sighed. They were the not so new yet not so old Levi Squad, a group of talented individuals under Lance Corporal Levi's command. More like a small group of little killers. I wouldn't have joined it even if given an invitation. I clash too much with him.

"Oi, Isabelle!" Heinfield shouted as he clapped at me. I snapped out of my reverie to see two Titans lumbering in front of us at full speed. "Let's go!" he yelled as lunged at the nearest one, leaving me to take the back. We spun in unison, slicing into our targets with ease. As they fell to the ground, we quickly regrouped with the refill team to get more gas for our tanks. With the rate we're going, we may not have enough to get to the city.

"Say, you wanna go for a drink after this shit is over?" Heinfield said as they handed him a tank. "No thanks. I have something to do," I said and he clicked his tongue. "Always the uptight one, eh?" he said as we took to the air once more. "If you have time to think about dates, focus on getting out of this shit alive first!" I shouted as I pointed at the walls. Wall Sina loomed in front of us, its white façade gleaming in the sun and crawling with Titans. Some men were on the top, shouting to each other as they fired shells at the Titans.

"Here we go!" I shouted to the gaggle of troops behind us and we shouted as we leaped into the fray, slicing the Titans in our path. Some cried out as they fell to their doom but we didn't stop to help them, knowing we would end up in the same situation if we ever did. "What's the situation?" I demanded as we made it to the top. "Thank the heavens you are here!" one of the Garrison Force soldiers gasped, his knees shaking. "We have been shelling this guys for an hour and they're still breaking into the city! As this rate we'll die!" he blurted as a roar filled the air.

"Now what?!" he shouted as he turned to look at Trost District. He froze in his tracks as we watched a large Titan walking toward us with a boulder on its shoulders. It walked towards the large hole in the wall, its eyes shining green. "What the heck is the Titan doing?!" Heinfield shouted as he watched. The Titan grunted a little, steam emitting from its mouth. As it walked, several members of the Training Corps zoomed past it, guiding it to the wall. "Don't tell me… it's gonna seal the wall!" one soldier shouted as others clambered to see.

"Don't stop shelling those Titans!" their Squad Leader yelled and they quickly got back to position. As the sound of cannons going off filled the air, we watched as the Titan carried the boulder closer to the wall. "Go! Eren!" a blonde boy shouted and the Titan roared, slamming the boulder into the wall with a slam. The boulder stuck fast, preventing any Titans from entering further. As the soldiers yelled in victory and leapt to cull any remaining Titans in Trost District, I could only looked in both amazement and horror as I watched Eren appear from the Titan's nape. "Eren Jaeger… just what the hell are you?" I whispered as I joined my comrades in battle.

….

We ended the day with eliminating all Titans within Trost District. The town was a wreck though, most of the buildings smashed and the place covered with blood and bodies. I pulled a cloth over my face, tying it so that the stench of rot wouldn't reach me. Even with it, I still felt like puking when I came across a large ball coated in slime, filled with the bodies of humans. "What the hell is this…" Heinfield muttered as he tried not to hurl. The sight was disgusting and some of the recruits that survived threw up or just went hysterical.

 _Titans do not have a digestive system nor an excretory system. Instead, when they have had their full meal of humans, they vomit them back out._ I recalled one of the instructors telling us back when we were in the Training Corps. Even in all my years of fighting Titans, I had never seen this ever. "Damn it. It's going to take a while to identify all of them," Maurice, one of the men in charge of autopsy cursed as he removed a knife, preparing to cut out the bodies. "I can't do this," I muttered as I turned, my head spinning from both the stench and the idea of humans getting devoured only to be spit back out.

As I leaned against a wall and yanked down my mask, tears filled my eyes as I threw up. "You okay?" Heinfield asked as he came to me. He looked as bad as I did, his lips coated with vomit. "Can you please clean your mouth," I muttered as I wiped mine on my sleeve. "Say, isn't tomorrow the day the recruits have to pick their military faction?" he asked as I stood up. Poor kids. To have to deal with this on their very first day out of the Training Corps… I wonder how many of them would actually be mad enough to join the Survey Corps now after witnessing this hell…

….

The stars shone in the sky as around less than 200 recruits gathered in the open area. Quite a number of them had died in the battle of Trost District yesterday. Those who had died were burned in a large pyre, too many dead to count to have their own pyres. I watched from a corner as some of the recruits watched their friends burn, some of them on the ground sobbing. One boy had his hands on his head, sobbing uncontrollably while another stood still near one pyre, his face staring into the flames.

 _Poor people…_ I thought to myself as I watched them burn. After the whole Commander Keith going hysterical shit, I started to wonder whether any of this is even doing mankind any good. Also, after what I had witnessed with Eren earlier, I thought even more how ridiculous the idea of humans transforming into Titans seemed. As I smacked myself on the cheeks, I gazed at a gaggle of recruits, who were looking at the guy who had been staring at the pyre, who now turned to face them.

"Do you guys know which faction you're joining? Because I do," he said, his voice shaking so bad that his body followed suit. "I…" he started to say, bringing up his hand before grabbing with the other, as though he was about to curse himself. "I'm joining the Survey Corps!" he yelled before he broke down into tears, his body shaking. His friends only looked at him in pity, wondering whether he was out of his mind or if they should do the same thing. "Run while you still can…" I whispered to myself as ashes rained from the sky.

…

I walked down the corridor, my head facing out of the window. The sound of birds chirping made me breath a sigh of relief for a moment. It looked so peaceful even though hell had broke loose not long ago at Trost District. Speaking of which, I remembered Mona mentioning she had come from Trost District and I wondered what Leila was up to now. She had been assigned to a different unit not long ago and I wondered if she had even survived the battle. As I tried to free my brain from these thoughts, a slightly familiar voice made me snap back to reality.

"Big Sis Isabelle?" a boy asked and I turned to face Eren Jaeger, who had the Survey Corps cloak around him along with a large smile. "You know this kid?" Uluo asked as I hugged him, surprising the boy a little. "Yeah. We came from the same town," I said as Uluo clicked his tongue. "Come on. We still have cleaning to do," he started to say when I yanked Eren away. "I'll deal with Levi later. You go do the cleaning," I said and he snorted, turning his heel and stomping down the hall.

"What's up, kiddo? You officially in the Survey Corps?" I asked and he nodded. "Yeah, due to various reasons," he said and I could imagine what those reasons were. "Wow, you've gotten big," I grinned as I rumpled his hair. As he smiled, I thought how Jon would be slightly older than him if he was still alive. "You still got the cloak I gave you?" I asked. "Yeah. I have it in my room as a souvenir," he said as I knocked him in the head. "Cloaks are meant to be worn, you know," I said. "Oi not my fault they gave me a new one," he said.

"So the choosing ceremony is tonight. Are you going there?" I asked. "Lance Corporal Levi allowed me to go but I'm not to appear in public," he groaned, his face downcast. "No worries. I'll be sure to tell you if any of your buddies signed up for the Survey Corps," I said. "Really, Big Sis?" he blurted as I smiled. "You know, I go by Squad Leader Isabelle around here," I said as he flushed a little. "Oh, its just that I'm used to calling you that," he muttered as I held out my hand.

"Why don't we start over, eh?" I said as he smiled, taking the hand. "I'm Isabelle Lightbane. But you may call be Izzy for short, or if you want, Squad Leader Isabelle," I grinned as he snorted. "Showoff," he said as I grappled him, rubbing his head. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?" a stern voice said and we looked up to see Lance Corporal Levi donned in a white cloth over his mouth and head. I stifled a giggle, since he looked so much like a maid. "Nothing. Well, of you go Eren," I said, waving a goodbye as the Lance Corporal snatched him by the scruff and lead him down the hall.

…

That night, the chattering of voices filled the air as the recruits decided which military faction they were going to join. Some were so nervous that they were sobbing on the ground, unsure of what to do. Only some remained calm and I recognized the boy and girl who were always with Eren standing close to the stage. A small gaggle of Survey Corps soldiers, me along with members of the Levi Squad stood backstage, Petra and another man holding onto a large paper. "What's that for?" I whispered and Petra shrugged. "Just something the Commander wanted to show them," she whispered back as the Commander walked onto the stage.

"I'm Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps," he began and some of the recruits gulped. The Survey Corps was considered to be a death sentence for those who joined. "Today you choose where you'll be enlisting. And to be blunt, I'm here to recruit soldiers for the Survey Corps," he said, some inward groans coming from members of the crowd. "I'm sure the latest Titan attack has you questioning your strengths and you have your doubts on joining the Survey Corps. However, through the battle, mankind has met unprecedented progress in our battle against the Titans. The key is Eren Jaeger," he said and some whispers started to fill the air.

"His willingness to risk his life for mankind justifies his allegiance to us. Furthermore, not only did he help us stop the Titans, but he also provided us a way to unveil the Titans' mystery!" he said and people started to gasp, me included. He started to tell the crowd about the key being based in Shiganshina in the ruins of Eren's old house, where his father had given him a key to access the basement the day Shiganshina was taken. The Commander further explained the plan he had came up with to retake the town and Petra and her partner unfolded the plans, letting all recruits to see it.

 _Is he crazy? By showing this to the recruits, they would be even more scared in joining the Survey Corps! Are you trying to drive potential members away?_ I thought to myself as he listed down the possibilities of them surviving in their time in service and the numbers were not pretty. I felt grateful I had even survived eight years in the Corps. "Those of you are willing to endanger their lives for us, please remain here. Please, ask yourselves. Are you capable of offering your lives to mankind?!" he shouted. The recruits stood silently, some rocking on their feet. "That is all. Those of you who wish to enlist elsewhere, you may leave," he said.

Silence filled the air for a while as we gaped at him, sure that he had driven off potential members. "Commander, don't you think you went too far? You may scared them off," one man said as the Commander watched the recruits. At his words, the recruits began to leave the square one by one, soon the gates flooded with them. As I watched the spectacle unfold before me, I remembered my own choosing ceremony. I remembered how everyone who I had thought to be my comrades abandoned us in fear of saving their own skins.

As the recruits filed out, those that remained behind stood their ground, some too afraid to speak. Some seemed to be having a battle in their minds, probably debating whether they should even be here when the odds of them surviving are so low. The guy who had volunteered to join the Survey Corps from yesterday howled, his cries filling the night sky.

When the ordeal was finally over, only around 20 recruits remained. "Could you die if given the order to?" Commander Erwin asked. "We don't want to die sir!" one man shouted and the commander smiled. "I see… I like your expressions. Now then, I accept all of you who remain as new Survey Corps soldiers! This will be a true salute! Offer your lives!" he shouted as he slammed a fist on his heart. The recruits followed suit, shouting as they saluted their new Commander. As they pledge allegiance to the Survey Corps, I smiled to myself. "Eren Jaeger, you truly have amazing friends," I whispered to myself.


	11. The 57th expedition

**Chapter 11. I don't own the world of AOT. It belongs to Hajime Isayama.**

This year I wasn't in charge of the new recruits, who were left in the care of Squad Leader Ness. I giggled to myself as Shallot once again grabbed at his head, biting his hair. I wondered what the horse found so interesting about his hair until the man went bald in the middle. I watched him teach the recruits, standing in the shade of the building.

"Miss teaching them?" Hienfield asked as he leaned against the wall near me. "Kind of… I still failed to bring most of them though…" I said. "They signed up for it so you can't blame yourself if they go dying on you," he said as he handed me some beer. "A bit too early for a drink, don't you think?" I asked as I slugged down the stuff, letting out a satisfying ahh. "Drinking is for the whole day," he said as he drank.

"I heard this is going to be your 10th expedition," he said as we drank. "Yeah. I feel so old," I said and he snorted. "Hey, I'm older than you you know," he said and I laughed. "Yeah, that's true," I said as I finished my drink. "An expedition beyond the walls in a month's time huh? A bit too early after just one week of hell at Trost Disrict. Wonder what the Commander is rushing about?" he wondered as he gulped down his drink. "I wonder too myself," I said as we headed into the building.

…

I threw the saddle over Misty's back, who snorted in protest. "Easy girl. We'll be back in no time," I said as I patted her nose. I offered an apple to her, which she ate hungrily as I threw my bags onto her. This time she made no complains. "You get bribed too easily," I groaned as I swung myself onto her and headed onto the road to meet my squad. There were only three of us this time, me, Heinfield and a guy named Setzer.

"You ready?" I asked and they nodded. "Let's go!" I said as we rode to Trost District where we were supposed to leave. As we rode, I caught sight of the Levi Squad coming not far from us. When we entered the city, the place was crowded with Survey Corps soldiers, all of whom were getting their teams organized and checking their supplies. "Man, everyone pretty pumped about it," Setzer said as we looked around us. True, everyone was pretty cheerful today. Guessed it was due to what the Commander had said to them during the debrief few days earlier.

As I looked around, I saw Squad Leader Ness bringing in the recruits, their faces scared but determined. Our group was situated close to the right flank but we were supposedly at a reasonable distance away from Titans. As we readied ourselves, one of the recon scouts shouted. "We have lured away all remaining Titans! Gates will be opened in thirty seconds!" he shouted. As I focused on the task ahead of me, I heard one of the captains shout.

"Its time! In mere moments, mankind will advance once again! Show us what you're made of!" he yelled and everyone yelled in unison, lifting their blades into the air. "Open the gates!" he yelled as the Garrison Force pulled them up, the hole baring the outside world to us. When the gate had been fully opened, Commander Erwin shouted, "ADVANCE!" He reared up his horse and rode out, everyone following suit. We soon entered the ruins of the city outside of the walls, the buildings destroyed and abandoned.

"Titans approaching!" one scout yelled as one came lumbering at us. He quickly shot towards it, luring it away from our group. As we approached open ground, the commander threw out his hand. "Get into formation!" he yelled and we split, our group riding towards the right hand side, clouds of dust rising from the ground as soldiers rode to their areas. Soon, we lost sight of the other teams and we rode in silence for a while.

"So red to signal the presence of a Titan. Green to be used by Commander Erwin to change our course so we won't run into any Titans. Black only if an Abnormal Titan is seen. Got it," Setzer muttered under his breath. "You can memorise all of your love confessions but you can't even memorise three different colour codes?!" Heinfield snapped. "Shut it, you two. Focus!" I snapped as a red flare soared through the sky. "Damn it! This early?!" I groaned as I fired one into the air.

Soon, more red streaks filled the sky and finally, a green one was released, pointing out our new course. We rode towards it, the sun beating down on us and our cloaks flapping behind us. We soon approached a bunch of ruins, several buildings filling the area. "Shit, can't see anything there," Heinfield said as the ground rumbled beneath us. "Titan!" Setzer yelled as one approached us, running at full speed. Wait, running?

"It's an Abnormal! Fire a black signal!" I yelled as Setzer fumbled to get his flare. The Titan was steadily approaching, it's running like that of an athlete. Its movements were precise, its face focused at us. "Damn it! We have to fight!" I yelled as I readied my gear. "Setzer, you go warn the others! Me and Heinfield will handle this!" I shouted as I soared into the air, Heinfield following my wake.

"Never seen a Titan like that before," I muttered as it got closer. It looked like a naked women, sporting blonde hair and blue eyes. Its fingers were white as though no flesh covered it. "We can think about that later!" Heinfield shouted as he sliced at it. As he approached the Titan, it grabbed at him, barely missing him. He spun in the air, slicing at its nape as it grabbed his wire. "Heinfield!" I screamed as the Titan grabbed him and slammed him into a building, sending it toppling to the ground.

"Damn it!" I screamed, rolling onto a roof, the Titan looking at me. _Damn it, since when does a Titan know how to protect its nape? Don't tell me it's an Abberant,_ I thought to myself as I flew into the air once more. "Curse you!" I screamed as I aimed at its neck. When I came down, shards of ice covered the nape, blocking it from me. My blades slammed into it, shattering upon impact. "Impossible!" I shouted as the Titan turned its head to look at me. Time slowed a little as it glanced at me, its eyes scanning my face.

A moment later, it had grabbed my wire and before I knew it, I was slamming into the ground, my gear shattering under my weight. I screamed, my bones shattering upon impact. I coughed up blood, unable to move as the Titan chased after Setzer and picked him up like a doll, holding his arms and legs wide. I could hear his screams of terror as the Titan pulled him apart before kicking his horse in the air and running off. What the hell was that? A Titan with intelligence? That's impossible!

I tried to move my fingers but they remained still. I tried to move my body but it stayed fixed on the spot. _I must have broken my back,_ I thought to myself as I tried to breath. I cried out in pain as pain surged through my body like I was getting stabbed by a thousand knives. I lay on the ground, a pool of my own blood forming around me. _My ribs must have punctured my lungs,_ I thought as my vision swam. I was losing oxygen and drowning in my own blood. After so long, I'm dying in such a miserable fashion.

As I lay on the grass, I watched the trees sway in the wind, birds chirping nearby. _Lucky things. They didn't know the horrors we humans are facing…_ I thought as my breathing became more labored. As I lived my final moments, I could make out the clouds parting, a small ray of sunshine hitting me as familiar faces stared back at me. "Welcome back, Isabelle," my father smiled, holding onto my mother and brother. "Long time no see," Radu said, his arm around Mona, who was smiling widely. "Guys," I whispered, slowly closing my eyes as my soul was taken to the heavens.

 **Well there you have it. The end of the story... Okay it killed me to finish it off in this manner but I felt if she lived all the way, it wouldn't be that logical in the world of AOT to do so. But don't fret! The epilogue is on its way and there** **will be a bonus chapter on fun facts on the characters. Stay calm and just don't murder me. I wanna live longer.**


	12. Epilogue

**Thank you so much for those who have been with me since I started this story. I really enjoyed writing it and seeing you guys read it. Shoutout to MrSmileyPikachu who has been reviewing since day one and to see all your reviews, it gave me the strength to continue to write as I know there is someone out there who is reading it. Shoutout to monsta-staar for reviewing as well and for both of you for favouriting this story. Its been a rollercoaster ride of around three weeks to four weeks and I enjoyed the journey every step of the way. Therefore, may I present to you the epilogue of "An Adventure or Hell?" For the final time, I don't own the world of AOT. It belongs to Hajime Isayama.**

Levi walked among the soldiers, looking down at the corpses that lined the grass. He covered his mouth as he examined one of them, her face uncovered by the cloth. Unlike her comrades, she was the least damaged, although her bones had been all but broken. As he knelt down, he gently moved aside a lock of her hair, gazing down at her. "You fought well, kid," he murmured as he took out his knife, cutting out her insignia. As he did so, a letter fell from her breast pocket, the paper splattered with small droplets of blood.

Levi clicked his tongue as he picked it up and scanned the name of the recipient. He folded it and pocketed it, turning his heel to see the bodies of his squad members being brought in. "That's them?" he asked as the bodies were laid down. "Yeah. At least they are in proper shape to bring home," the man said as he laid down one of them. Levi uncovered the cloth, looking at them face of Petra, a young girl who barely had the chance to live out her life. He bowed his head low as he got to work in removing their insignias.

…

Eren Jaeger slowly opened his eyes, his vision blurry at first. The room he was in was simple but nice, fresh flowers placed in a vase on his bedside table. White curtains fluttered in the wind, revealing Trost District beyond the windows. As he slowly set up, he covered his mouth, wanting to puke. He still wasn't used to transforming into a Titan and the transformation had taken its toll on him.

As he lay back on the pillows, he remembered how he had caused the members of the Levi Squad to die. _If only I had been able to make the right decision… everyone would still be alive…_ he thought to himself, his hands gripping the sheets. As he cursed himself, the sound of light snoring came from nearby and he turned to see Mikasa sitting in a chair, her head bowed in sleep. Eren smiled as he reached to stroke her when a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. He picked it up, wondering what it could be when he noticed his name written on the paper. Slowly, he opened it and began to read.

 _Hi Eren,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well. If you have received this, it means I have lost my life in battle. I know it sounds cheesy for a dead person to be writing to you, but my brother did the same for me when he died. This would be in my breast pocket, should it ever be found._

 _Eren, when I meet you, I thought you were a peculiar kid with the will to fight the Titans like no one I have ever met. I saw myself in you. I wanted to fight Titans so badly that I left home one night with my brother and never went home since. I made many friends along the way but I lost them all within the first few years when I was in the Survey Corps. Should you have survive to read this letter, I want you to know that even though you may lose everyone around you, don't ever give up. It may seem strange coming from me, but someone once told me that to defeat monster, you must become a monster yourself. I pray that day will never come. You are a good kid, Eren and I hope that one day, you and your friends will free mankind from Titan slavery. I wish you all the best. Goodbye._

 _P.S. I know this is weird coming from a single person but you should try dating Mikasa. She's the top of the class and I can see she really cares about you. But you don't have to take this advice._

 _From your "Big Sis",_

 _Izzy_

As Eren read the letter, tears fell from his eyes, staining the letter. As he sobbed, Mikasa woke from her slumber, her eyes tired. "Eren," she muttered groggily as she saw him sobbing. As he sobbed, he saw her insignia on the table and he gently took it, cradling it to his chest. "Big sis Izzy… one day I will avenge you and the others. I swear. I will kill the Titans. Everyone last one of them," he whispered as he wept over the loss of the big sister he never had.

 **Thank you for reading this story! Its been a pleasure writing for you all. As they say in the Shadowhunter world, Ave Atque Vale and in japanese, sayonara. Until we meet again.**


	13. Fun facts

**Fun facts of "An Adventure or Hell?"**

 **1\. Isabelle : Actually I got the name from the Shadowhunter series. Just thought of the name when I remembered her being one of the most badass characters in the series and henceforth, Isabelle Lightbane was born.**

 **2\. Lightbane : That is also from the Shadowhunter series. I combined the surnames of two characters, Lightwood and Bane together so I got the name from there. Read the series! Its awesome!**

 **3\. How did I get the idea?**

 **I wrote the story after watching AOT season 2 since I was so filled with the feels that I needed to rant it all out. It was too good and I always wanted to write an AOT fanfic so I was really happy that this came into mind.**

 **4\. How long did it take to write it?**

 **Actually only three days. I was a bit reluctant to keep it up if there weren't any reviews ( I live for reviews!) but when I saw people reviewing, I started to write even more until I finished it.I actually didn't really have any idea how to end it and it just came to me as I wrote. Although one thing I was certain from the start was that all the characters except the ones created by Hajime Isayama would die. Well it sucks but oh well, its AOT. It happens all the time.**

 **5\. Other works : I'm currently working on a Noragami fanfic and I just posted around four Free! Iwatobi Swim Club fanfics. I'm planning to watch Haikyuu and Bleach this coming weeks since I have free time until I go back to school. For those who are avid Shadowhunter fans, feel free to read my stories as well. Those who are fans of the Fate series, check out my story "My Grail War" at my profile! Also if anyone has a story request, feel free to pm me. I'm looking forward to writing an AOT fanfic soon! Although I would prefer if it wasn't about shipping. I suck at romance...**

 **Well thats all from me. Ave Atque vale and until we meet again, sayonara!**


	14. Debut novel

Hello again guys

thanks for reading and supporting my fan fiction all this time until the end of it.

I recently ventured into writing and self publishing online on Amazon and recently I released a book of poems called "Looking into the Mirror" and now I'm proud to announce my very first debut novel "Four Unexpected Fates" on Amazon in ebook form which is now ready for purchase. I

Its about four girls who got into the same university and whilst having a sleepover discovered that they each took part in various sports and they ended up talking about their journeys as athletes as they pursue their dreams to be the best in their game or to quit entirely. If you're a fan of sports anime like Haikyuu and Free, then this is the novel for you!

It holds a special place in my heart as I took part in the sports mentioned in the book and it was inspired by my experiences as an athlete who has since retired from them to be the person I am today. Some of the events in the book happened to me in real life and I have changed the names of the individuals who were part of it and even though some of them had hurt me in the past, I'm glad that had happened as it made me into the person I am today.

Hope you will support this book and have a good day!

Title : Four unexpected fates by Angel Carstairs

Link: dp/B07Q3J4T7X/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=four+unexpected+fates+angel+carstairs&qid=1553933518&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spell

Also catch my other book of poems entitled "Looking into the Mirror" by Angel Carstairs.

Looking-into-Mirror-Angel-Carstairs-ebook/dp/B07PTR3N59/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=looking+into+the+mirror+angel+carstairs&qid=1553758936&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spell

P.S. Unfortunately this is only available to read in ebook form .


End file.
